Advice

ANALYSIS

Who’s to blame for bullying?

As another academic year comes to an end, the Association of Christian Teachers (ACT) is calling on all schools to take a fresh look at how to tackle playground – and classroom – bullies

Rupert Kaye is a man with a mission. As chief executive of ACT, he has given a warning to schools: “It is time to get beyond hollow phrases like ‘challenging behaviour’, ‘behaviour management’, and ‘social inclusion’ and get to grips with the real issue: how can we ensure that every child in every school feels happy, safe and secure? It is absolutely intolerable that any adult or child should feel so powerless; so alone; so miserable that they would contemplate suicide as their only way out.”

He says moral leadership is the only way forward: “The language used to describe certain kinds of wayward pupil behaviour, and the favoured strategies for tackling them change from time to time. At present ‘challenging’ is a euphemism which covers a multitude of sins; in fact everything from insolence to threatening a teacher with a machete might be fairly described as ‘challenging’ these days!

“All too often schools ‘manage’ the challenging behaviour of unruly pupils; they contain them; they limit the degree of violence and the level of abuse they will tolerate without aiming to eliminate all that is anti-social.”

Rupert believes one reason for such a state of affairs is the Government’s “blind commitment” to social inclusion. “Social inclusion at its best means that no one is left behind by society; the mantra is that everyone deserves another chance...and another...and another...regardless of whether they have learnt from their mistakes or shown any remorse for the wrong they have done to others.”

“It is my contention that the kinds of misbehaviour we find in the UK’s schools today require moral leadership, not just ‘behaviour management’. As a society we need to publicly set out those attitudes and behaviours we value and to identify those which are unacceptable. We need to celebrate what is good and admonish what is bad.”

Rupert has personal experience of this very painful subject. “I was the victim of bullying from a handful of other pupils and three particularly vindictive teachers. In the end I resigned myself to suffering in silence – daily contemplating suicide or wondering whether I should run away – surviving each term one day at a time and relying on God for comfort and strength. It is no exaggeration to say that without my Christian faith I may well have never survived my teenage years.

“If we are ever to end the silent reign of terror which many children experience in England’s schools we must take the time and effort necessary to re-educate and reform those who bully every bit as much as we should be empowering and giving voice to all those who are bullied.

“Contemporary educational wisdom seems to tell teachers that instead of dwelling on how they could or should punish and/or humiliate a bully, they should focus on helping bullies to:

see the error of their ways
ask for help
devise strategies for managing and take responsibility for their own behaviour.”

From a Christian viewpoint, bullies should, he believes:

acknowledge their sin
repent
ask for help
mend their ways

Helping the perpetrator seems the perfectly Christian thing to do, but we should never overlook the needs of the victim. In fact, standing resolutely with the oppressed is nothing short of a biblical imperative – it is precisely what God expects us all to do.

“The parable of the Good Samaritan is not about helping the bandits who robbed the hapless journeyman – it is about the help which the victim received from an enemy. Interestingly, Jesus does not allow himself to become preoccupied with blaming the bullies, but nor does he take time to explain or excuse their actions.

“Instead, Jesus uses this parable to show his disapproval of those who walk on by on the other side of the road. I think that God expects all school staff, parents and governors to do everything within their power to bind up the wounds of the victims, and provide for their safety and wellbeing.

“The precise role which ‘blame’ – or a lack of it – plays in bringing about meaningful reconciliation and a lasting peace is open to debate. The time has come for all politicians, policy makers, school staff, parents and governors to do the right thing.”

Rupert Kaye is chief executive of ACT
How have you handled bullying - as a child, and now as a parent? Mail us or put your thoughts on the Bulletin Board (click menu above right)

© Christian Family Network
is run by CPO, supported by
Care for the Family, Marriage Resource, Positive Parenting,
Care, Women Alive, Christian Herald and many others.


		ANALYSIS Who’s to blame for bullying? As another academic year comes to an end, the Association of Christian Teachers (ACT) is calling on all schools to take a fresh look at how to tackle playground – and classroom – bullies Rupert Kaye is a man with a mission. As chief executive of ACT, he has given a warning to schools: “It is time to get beyond hollow phrases like ‘challenging behaviour’, ‘behaviour management’, and ‘social inclusion’ and get to grips with the real issue: how can we ensure that every child in every school feels happy, safe and secure? It is absolutely intolerable that any adult or child should feel so powerless; so alone; so miserable that they would contemplate suicide as their only way out.” He says moral leadership is the only way forward: “The language used to describe certain kinds of wayward pupil behaviour, and the favoured strategies for tackling them change from time to time. At present ‘challenging’ is a euphemism which covers a multitude of sins; in fact everything from insolence to threatening a teacher with a machete might be fairly described as ‘challenging’ these days! “All too often schools ‘manage’ the challenging behaviour of unruly pupils; they contain them; they limit the degree of violence and the level of abuse they will tolerate without aiming to eliminate all that is anti-social.” Rupert believes one reason for such a state of affairs is the Government’s “blind commitment” to social inclusion. “Social inclusion at its best means that no one is left behind by society; the mantra is that everyone deserves another chance...and another...and another...regardless of whether they have learnt from their mistakes or shown any remorse for the wrong they have done to others.” “It is my contention that the kinds of misbehaviour we find in the UK’s schools today require moral leadership, not just ‘behaviour management’. As a society we need to publicly set out those attitudes and behaviours we value and to identify those which are unacceptable. We need to celebrate what is good and admonish what is bad.” Rupert has personal experience of this very painful subject. “I was the victim of bullying from a handful of other pupils and three particularly vindictive teachers. In the end I resigned myself to suffering in silence – daily contemplating suicide or wondering whether I should run away – surviving each term one day at a time and relying on God for comfort and strength. It is no exaggeration to say that without my Christian faith I may well have never survived my teenage years. “If we are ever to end the silent reign of terror which many children experience in England’s schools we must take the time and effort necessary to re-educate and reform those who bully every bit as much as we should be empowering and giving voice to all those who are bullied. “Contemporary educational wisdom seems to tell teachers that instead of dwelling on how they could or should punish and/or humiliate a bully, they should focus on helping bullies to: see the error of their ways ask for help devise strategies for managing and take responsibility for their own behaviour.” From a Christian viewpoint, bullies should, he believes: acknowledge their sin repent ask for help mend their ways Helping the perpetrator seems the perfectly Christian thing to do, but we should never overlook the needs of the victim. In fact, standing resolutely with the oppressed is nothing short of a biblical imperative – it is precisely what God expects us all to do. “The parable of the Good Samaritan is not about helping the bandits who robbed the hapless journeyman – it is about the help which the victim received from an enemy. Interestingly, Jesus does not allow himself to become preoccupied with blaming the bullies, but nor does he take time to explain or excuse their actions. “Instead, Jesus uses this parable to show his disapproval of those who walk on by on the other side of the road. I think that God expects all school staff, parents and governors to do everything within their power to bind up the wounds of the victims, and provide for their safety and wellbeing. “The precise role which ‘blame’ – or a lack of it – plays in bringing about meaningful reconciliation and a lasting peace is open to debate. The time has come for all politicians, policy makers, school staff, parents and governors to do the right thing.” Rupert Kaye is chief executive of ACT How have you handled bullying - as a child, and now as a parent? Mail us or put your thoughts on the Bulletin Board (click menu above right) © Christian Family Network is run by CPO, supported by Care for the Family, Marriage Resource, Positive Parenting, Care, Women Alive, Christian Herald and many others.