THIS
WEEK'S INSIGHT
Helping your kids cope when terrorism
• How do you talk through London's bomb attacks and their implications with your children? These 'Thoughts and Suggestions on Shepherding Our Children in Times of Crisis' from one US church may provide some useful tips.
Editor's
note: these have been run on Christian Family Network before
some years back, but the advice holds true and so we feel it's
helpful to re-run it.
In the midst of recent events, one of our common reactions as parents is to
shield our children from it. Children sense our stress and that of others around
them; we must deal openly and honestly with the questions they may have.
So, what is the Christian response? 1 Peter 5:7 tells us to cast all our anxiety
upon him, because he cares for us. Psalm 47 tells us that God is King over
all the earth; that he reigns over the nations.
Why did God allow these things to happen? We don’t know (Deuteronomy
29:29). We cannot finally answer the problem of evil and suffering to our complete
satisfaction.
We do know four things that God’s Word makes clear:
- Evil
is real. We can and should be angry at this tragedy. Just
as Jesus stood before Lazarus’ grave and was agitated
at death (John 11:33-36), so we too should be angry at heartache
and disruption.
- Evil
is unnatural. As Dr Os Guiness has declared: "The
world should have been otherwise."
- God
is good. Romans 8:28-39 reminds us that God is able to
make all things work together for the good of his own. Even
though we do not fully understand these events, he promises
to make good out of them. We are to fight against evil because
our great God has fought against it at the Cross and won!
- God is sovereign. He has not lost control (Psalm 103:19; 115:3). One day he will put every enemy under his foot, conquer all evil, and bring justice to bear.
Helping
Pre-School Age Children Handle Disaster-Related Anxiety
Reassure pre-schoolers that they're safe. Provide extra comfort and contact
by discussing the child's fears at night, by telephoning during the day and
with extra physical comforting.
Get a better understanding of a child's feelings about the disaster. Encouraging
children to draw pictures about the disaster, and then discussing them, will
offer insight into each child's particular fears and concerns. You can work
to structure children's play so that it remains constructive, serving as an
outlet for expressing fear or anger.
Helping School Age Children Handle Disaster-Related Anxiety
Children this age may ask many questions about the disaster, and it's important
that you try to answer them in clear and simple language. If a child is concerned
about a parent who is distressed, don't tell a child not to worry. Doing so
will just make him or her worry more.
Here are several important points to remember with school-age children:
False reassurance does not help this age group. Don't say disasters
will never affect your family again; children will know this isn't true. Instead
say: "I'll always try to keep you safe," or "Adults are working
very hard to make things safer for the future."
Children's fears often get worse around bed time, so you might want to stick
around until the child falls asleep in order to make him or her feel protected.
Monitor children's media viewing. Images of the disaster and the damage
are extremely frightening to children, so consider limiting the amount of media
coverage they see. A good way to do this without calling attention to your
own concern is to regularly schedule an activity - story reading, drawing,
movies, or letter writing, for example to replace watching the constant news
coverage.
Allow them to express themselves through play or drawing. As with younger
children, school-age children sometimes find comfort in expressing themselves
through playing games or drawing scenes of the disaster. Allowing them to do
so, and then talking about it gives you the story they have expressed in pictures
with an emphasis on the child’s and his or her family’s safety.
Don't be afraid to say: "I don't know." Part of keeping discussion
of the disaster open and honest is not being afraid to say you don't know how
to answer a child's question. When such an occasion arises, explain to your
child that disasters are very unpredictable, and they cause things that even
adults have trouble dealing with. Temper this by explaining that, even so,
adults will always work very hard to keep children safe and secure. **
* Prepared by the pastoral and children’s ministry staff of McLean Presbyterian
Church in McLean, VA. September 11, 2001.
**The above information has been supplied by the NC State University Website. For
more information, log on to http://www.ces.ncsu.edu
©
Christian Family Network
is run by CPO, supported by
Care for the Family, Marriage Resource, Positive Parenting,
Care, Women Alive, Christian Herald and many others.