ADVICE

How to streetproof your children - and help them stay safe

  • Positive Parenting director EILEEN JONES has some invaluable tips for parents and teachers

Most parents want to warn their children about sexual abuse - but they don’t know HOW! These guidelines will help you to teach your children how to keep safe.

  • Most children are abused by people they know well.

  • Parents who talk openly with their children will be 'askable'. Parents and children will feel free to ask questions and to bring their worries and concerns to you in the future. Talking to your children sensitively can be a very positive action

  • An unattended child is a child at risk. Arrange with your child an alternative place to wait if you are delayed - especially in the darker winter evenings. Suggest a well-lit shop or school.

  • Always, where possible, arrange for children to walk in pairs or groups.

  • Don’t allow your children to play out after dark.

  • Children should always travel the same way home. If you have to meet them you will then know which route to take.

  • Make sure your child tells you when he goes into other homes. A modern form of emotional abuse is to show children horror/ pornographic/occult videos. Always ask (at birthday parties, etc) what films are going to be shown - or have been shown. Don’t trust other people’s good sense - they may show films unsuitable for the age of your child!

  • Why not consider using a secret family code if you ask another adult to collect your children? Children should never go with anyone, not even a close family friend, unless they are able to give your child the chosen code word.

  • Don’t allow your young child to go into public toilets alone. Boys are particularly vulnerable to sexual approaches (toilets in department stores/amusement arcades/funfairs can be unsafe). On school outings and similar trips encourage children to go into toilets and changing rooms in pairs.

  • Check your babysitter’s credentials thoroughly. Take notice of your children’s reactions to babysitters or other adults. Make ground rules about any visitor your babysitter might have. Remember in your absence, your child is completely in their care.

  • Question the reason why a male friend or acquaintance should wish to spend time alone with, play football with, or take your child on outings? Be suspicious, be alert!

  • Tell your child it is not rude to ignore an adult who asks for directions on the street! Teach them to move away from somebody asking questions from a car.

  • Approach the subject of sexual abuse prevention with the same honest, matter-of-fact manner you would use to teach road safety. The only time a child will ask about sexual abuse is after it has happened. Your child will gain a sense of security if you have opened the subject, because of his/her confidence in you.

  • Teach your child to be truthful so that you can believe any problem experiences your child brings to you. Make time in your family life to talk about things that matter. Teach them right from wrong.

If you suspect an abuse has taken place:

DO encourage the child to talk about it
DO establish in the child’s mind that he/she is NOT to blame
DO NOT correct the child’s story, listen to the original words, even those which are babyish or family words. Write down what the child says immediately.
DO NOT show horror or anger. However, if caught by surprise and you are unable to control your emotions, be clear that your anger is meant for the offender, not the child.

You can get help and advice from:

NSPCC
Free Helpline
0808 800 500
www.nspc.org.uk

CHILDWATCH
206 Hessle Road
Hull
01482 325552
www.childwatch.org.uk

CHILDLINE
Free Helpline
0800 1111

KIDSCAPE
Helpline
08451 205204 (at local rate)

Recommended Reading:
Keeping Safe by Michele Elliott
from Kidscape website
www.kidscape.org.uk
Tel: 020 7730 3300

This article - in full - and many more are part of the Positive Parenting Pack.
Visit the Positive Parenting website, or phone 023 9252 8787 to order

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