Turning fathers' hearts to their sons

• Dads can make a massive difference to the lives of their sons – and churches can help, reports Sam Brooks of YMCA
  

Research shows that the presence of a father figure can make a massive difference to the lives of young people, especially boys. Yet nationally it is estimated that only one per cent of all parenting education is aimed at fathers.

YMCA England’s Dads & Lads programme aims to challenge this and to help fathers, sons, mentors and boys to bond through sport and activities. The organisation has just received about £159,000 over three years from the Home Office Family Policy Unit. The money will be used to extend the Dads & Lads work.

The programme has already been very successful and about 40 grants have been given to organisations from YMCAs to schools and churches.

"Churches are beginning to see that ‘turning the hearts of the fathers back to their children’ can and perhaps should be a key part of their ministry," says Rev Andy Glover, Pastor of Hoole Baptist Church, which is based alongside the YMCA Dads & Lads programme office in the Hoole Lighthouse Centre.

One example of a step in the right direction at the Lighthouse Centre are the ‘DAD’ courses. Fathers with kids of all ages go through the specially developed YMCA ‘DAD’ materials. Monthly men’s breakfasts as well as ‘Who let the dads out?’ mornings are organised, to give mum a break and perhaps a lie-in.

The Saturday before Mother’s Day, 21 dads came with their pre-school children. Big Boys Toys’ nights will take place for men (and their kids) who are not afraid to admit that they actually do like winning a large screen Playstation game, or even a game of table tennis or pool.

Jonathan Melville-Thomas, Youth & Junior Co-ordinator at Kingston YMCA and a children’s church leader said: "One day I was leading my group of children through what our earthly and heavenly father was like. I was inundated with descriptions and requests of what they wished their dads were like or what they would like them to do. I wondered to myself how much their fathers knew of this and how it could be explored.

"I decided to set up a session where dads, lads and lasses could spend a couple of hours on a Saturday morning playing games, doing sport and eating a hearty brunch together. The idea was for them to also find out from one another what they thought of issues such as bullying, competitiveness and TV and film watching.

"I chose the ages of seven to 11-years-old because often they are the ‘forgotten years’ for fathers spending time with their offspring. Recent research shows that nearly half of fathers with young children barely see them due to starting work early, travelling and doing overtime. This was one way in which men could find out in the presence of other dads and their children what they think. It could also give space for Mum to do something either on her own or with a younger child."

The Rev Bill Bygroves is pastor at Bridge Chapel in Liverpool and chaplain of Liverpool Football Club. Last year Rev Bygroves held a very successful YMCA Dads & Lads group at Liverpool FC. He said of the project: "Not only does it allow dads to do something positive with their sons, the DAD magazine teaching material is superb."

Bradford YMCA is also running a group for Asian fathers. One father from this group said: "We didn’t spend time with the children but due to Dads & Lads we started to. They listen to us now."

Lewis Chanter, one of the dads who took part in the Plymouth YMCA Dads & Lads group, said: "The biggest thing about coming to the Dads & Lads project is spending time with my stepson. I used to work late and we didn’t have much time together. Our relationship has changed in a way I never thought was possible."

The new three-year funding from the Home Office will enable the programme to develop further. A new worker will be appointed for 20 hours a week to build on the many existing projects and help set up new initiatives. Training will be carried out with external organisations like local authorities and charities. A website will also be developed, which will be aimed at fathers and Dads & Lads workers. They will be able to share experiences and best practice via a membership area.

Dirk Uitterdijk, Development Adviser for YMCA England’s Parenting Education and Support Unit, said: "We are delighted to have this funding and to be able to develop the programme in so many new and exciting ways. We estimate we have kick-started 40 projects and worked with 500-700 fathers thus far.

"We have funding to make a professional video to be used immediately after Dads & Lads sessions, when the dads are exhausted and welcome a chance to watch television for a bit. We think Dads & Lads has been hugely successful up and down the country and look forward to continued success in the future."

• Any churches or charitable organisations interested in small grants of between £300 to £500 to set up new Dads & Lads initiatives are invited to ring the YMCA hotline on 01244 403090 or e-mail dirk@parenting.ymca.org.uk
  
• You can also find out more at www.ymca.org.uk

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