Child safety: getting the right balance - CFN Newsletter 108

CHRISTIAN FAMILY NETWORK NEWSLETTER 108

> Bill Stone reflects on how we can allow our children freedom yet keep them protected
> News:
> Take binge drinking seriously, says Christian charity
> Involvement is a right, not a privilege
> Call for youth sex education at seven described as 'deplorable’
> Your View: 'Thanks, CFN!'
> Sites:
> New magazine for church technology
> Great Christmas resources to order
> Faithworks conference to help change your community
> Wanted: your school/church nativity video
> Marriage MOT: To have and to hold ...
> You've got to laugh: Rules for pilots
> Members' Zone latest

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Dear All

As parents, we all agonise over our children's safety. It's hard to know when to simply protect, and when to allow them freedom, and that's the subject of Bill Stone's lead article this week. In a fearful world, how can we bring them up to be confident yet careful, full of faith not fear?

By the way, we'd still like your help in getting Families Together magazine to work in your church and local community - and we can supply you with bundles of 50 of our latest issue for just 50p each!

If you'd like a bundle (or more), just mail Lyn Bedford on lynbedford@christianmedia.org.uk or call her direct on 01903 602126.

Hope you enjoy this week's update with plenty to inform, challenge and encourage you. Check it out!

God bless

Russ Bravo
Christian Family Network
info@cfnetwork.co.uk
http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk

PS Christian Family Network is here to direct you to the best in parenting, marriage and family resources; to link you up with other Christian families up and down the UK; and to help you make the most of life as a follower of Christ - at home, at work, at school and college, at play and online.

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ADVICE

Child safety – achieving balance

• BILL STONE from CCPAS (the Churches’ Child Protection Advisory Service) argues that we must guard against extremes in creating a safe world for our children
  

As a young boy growing up in West Midlands, I spent so many days perfecting my climbing technique, attempting to scale the large tree at the bottom of our garden, it is surprising I didn’t follow Sir Edmund Hillary to the summit of Everest. My parents, meanwhile, had no idea of my exploits. If they had, they would no doubt have been horrified.

In bringing up our children, there is a very difficult balance to be struck between security on the one hand and freedom on the other. If, as parents and carers, we stray too far in either direction we are likely to cause problems both for our children and for ourselves. Children need to be protected from harm to be sure, but they also need to be allowed to explore and develop.

Moreover, there are different forms of harm and children’s all-round development may be impaired as much by a smothering, anxious over-protectiveness as by a negligent, laissez-faire approach.
There is another balance, too, which constantly needs to be adjusted as children grow up - the balance between dependence and independence.

As new born infants, children are entirely dependent on their carers for everything, but by the time they are young adults they want and need to be independent. One of the most challenging and sometimes painful things for a parent to do is to allow the young person the freedom to go their own way. If the early years are about the formation of that loving attachment which is so foundational to a child’s future development, adolescence is about separation and the formation of individual identity. The parent’s role in this later stage of development is very different, if no less demanding.

These dilemmas are not unique to parents and children. The tension between freedom and security is present at all levels in society. In the wake of the 11 September terrorist atrocities in New York, America has been struggling with this same dilemma. A new balance is emerging which gives security significantly more priority. Many commentators worry that cherished freedoms are being compromised in the search for greater security in an uncertain world.

• For the rest of this article, including the challenge for Christians, head for our Advice section at http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/advice.asp

> THIS WEEK'S NEWS

Take binge drinking seriously, says Christian charity

Drugs education charity, Hope UK is calling on Christians to reassess their attitude on alcohol in light of a new Government report, which said up to 1.3 million children are affected by their parents’ drinking problems.

Go to http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/news.asp for the full story

Involvement is a right, not a privilege

Disabled children and young people from The Children’s Society are calling on local authorities throughout the country to listen and learn about important issues that impact their lives.

Go to http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/resources.asp for the full story

Call for youth sex education at seven described as 'deplorable’

The Society for the Protection of Unborn Children (SPUC) condemned the call by the Liberal Democrat party for children as young as seven to be subjected to compulsory sex education.

Go to http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/news.asp for the full story

> YOUR VIEW

Thanks, CFN!

I have just read your article on bullying on your website and think it is brilliant. I am currently home educating two of my children, having taken out my middle child due to there being insufficient protection for him from the bullies in school. The schools just did not take the bullying seriously, or take action to protect my child.

I would support any action you take to try to increase the Government's awareness of the problem and of how it is being ignored, rather than dealt with.

Hannah Leigh

• Do your family's experiences with bullying echo Hannah's? Mail us, or put your views on the Bulletin Board

> MARRIAGE MOT

To have and to hold from this day forward

A momentous day in your life. Something changed - two people mysteriously joined, not losing their individual identity but gaining another as a couple, a new unit of family. Nothing quite the same again.

“To have and to hold” makes me think of being given a very precious gift, perhaps something fragile and beautiful, or something exciting and full of promise. I can picture myself holding it in my hands looking at it turning it over and examining it from all sides, standing there just taking it in, taking the time to appreciate it’s wonder and value.

The act of holding it reminding me that it is a gift to me, something to treasure. In my marriage I see that gift as from God and in this case it is not something but someone. Someone that I can hold, either giving or receiving love and comfort. Someone I can treasure and cherish.

What can you do today to hold your precious gift of a spouse, to appreciate and cherish them?

> Check out our archived marriage tips in the Members' Zone, plus stacks more marriage resources at http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk
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> WANTED: NATIVITY VIDEOS

Have you caught any funny nativity-play moments on camera? Would you like to see your children elevated from the school stage to small screen? BBC1 needs your footage for a magical Christmas family show. If you have suitable material, send a VHS videotape to Freepost: I Want to Be Mary (no stamp required) - and if it's used, you'll receive £100! Please ensure that your videotape is cued up in the correct place, and remember to include your name and address for it to be returned to you.

> EVENTS

> YOU'VE GOT TO LAUGH ...

RULES OF THE AIR FOR PILOTS

~ Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.

~ If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.

~ It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there, than up there wishing you were down here.

~ When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.

~ A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.

~ Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.

You'll find the rest in our Resources section ...

www.MikeysFunnies.com

> CHRISTIAN FAMILY NETWORK THIS WEEK
(MEMBERS' ZONE) - http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/default.asp

> Advice

> Bill Stone on achieving the right balance on child protection
> Eric Spellman on great simulation sites online - from virtual goldfish to fantasy worlds
> Kate's marriage tips - To have and to hold ...

> Resources

> There are great opportunities ahead in UK schools for Christians, says Alison Farnell
> Will it be a great day? You can choose ...

> News

> Take binge drinking seriously, says Christian charity
> Involvement is a right, not a privilege
> Call for youth sex education at seven described as 'deplorable’
PLUS News Extra: 'honour' killings, LIFE condemns sex education booklet

> Top sites this week

> New magazine for church technology
> Great Christmas resources to order
> Faithworks conference to help change your community
> Association of Christian Counsellors: new directory
> Parents Concern: hope for Ugandan families

> Events: More of what's on near you

> Webwatch Index: more than 600 sites at your fingertips

> Site Search Engine: the easy way to trawl our 1,000-page plus archives

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