How to value your child - CFN Newsletter Week 115

CHRISTIAN FAMILY NETWORK NEWSLETTER 115

> How to value your child - some good advice and a holiday opportunity from Care for the Family
> News:
> Fertility treatment 'will erode role of fathers'
> New mobile phone code aims to protect children
> Bishop: 'advertising is producing greedy kids'
> Sites:
> Christian events guide
> Stewardship guidance and debt advice
> Delirious? tour latest
> Marriage MOT: Starting out
> You've got to laugh: I don't want to go to church!
> Members' Zone latest

OUR SPONSORS FOR THIS WEEK

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Dear All

Stacks of new content this week, with lots to smile at as well as sound parenting advice, computer tips from Eric Spellmann and some deep spiritual encouragement from Max Lucado

Plus there are stacks of new events lined up with Care for the Family and more in our events section.

Take care - and keep in touch!

Russ Bravo
Christian Family Network
info@cfnetwork.co.uk
http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk

PS Christian Family Network is here to direct you to the best in parenting, marriage and family resources; to link you up with other Christian families up and down the UK; and to help you make the most of life as a follower of Christ - at home, at work, at school and college, at play and online.

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And don't forget - if we can pass on material (sample copies of Families Together, leaflets) which will help you tell your friends and your church about CFN, just mail Lyn Bedford at marketing@christianmedia.org.uk and she'll be glad to help you out.

PARENTING ADVICE

How to value your child

Care for the Family’s family-building breaks take off again around the country in May. The 1-2-1 Challenge is a great way for a parent to build up their relationship with one of their children. But you don’t have to wait until then!

Children – and especially teenagers – go through times when their self-esteem hits their boots. They may be finding it difficult to keep up with school work, or a lack of co-ordination might mean that they just can’t make it in any sport. Perhaps they’re being bullied – even in a minor way it can dent their confidence – or a sibling might be achieving great heights, which makes them feel inferior.

All children need to know that they are valued.

Valued for being who they are, not for what they can achieve. So how can you let your child know that you value her or him?

• DO emphasise their good points. Even if they perform badly at school and in sport, they are individuals in their own right and are sure to have many good points. Let them know what those good points are! A couple of parents have told Care for the Family how they have written an alternative report, or a CV, for their child, showing them how they are appreciated as a person.
  
  
• DON’T compare them with others. They are comparing themselves all the time, in their own heads – they don’t need your help! If you have to compare them, do it favourably.
  
  
• DO listen to what they have to say. If you laugh at them or make fun of their opinions, they are less likely to open up to you next time. Even if they want to tell you six times exactly how their favourite footballer scored the winning goal, keep listening! And if they come to you with a problem, however minor it appears to you, sit down and take them seriously.
  
  
• DON’T criticise more than you praise. Children are built up by praise and will go on doing what they are praised for – to get more praise! If they are criticised all the time, they are more likely to go on doing what they are criticised for. At least that way they get attention.
  
  
• DO spend quality time with them individually. This is particularly important if a sibling is an achiever or has special needs, requiring much of your time. Have a special Saturday morning breakfast in a café, or go to see a film – just the two of you. Or you could go on a 1-2-1 Challenge weekend to build up your relationship!
  
  
• DON’T miss school open days, exhibitions, sports days, unless it is impossible for you to be there. If you have to give up something to go to their school, your child will notice that, appreciate it, and know you have put them first

• To read the rest of this article, go to our Advice section at http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/advice.asp

> THIS WEEK'S NEWS

> Fertility treatment ruling 'will erode role of fathers'

Allowing single and gay women to receive fertility treatment will erode the role of fathers in family life, a spokesperson for CORE (Comment on reproductive Ethics) said this week.

Go to http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/news.asp for the full story

> New mobile phone code aims to protect children

A coalition of children’s charities, including The Children’s Society, has praised new mobile phone regulations calling the code of practice “a major step forward in protecting children from paedophiles and pornography on the internet”.

Go to http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/resources.asp for the full story

> 'Advertising is producing greedy kids' says Bishop

Bishop the Rt Rev Christopher Herbert has warned that children’s advertising is “in serious danger of producing a nation of fat and greedy children with thin and starving souls”.

Go to http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/news.asp for the full story

> MARRIAGE MOT

> Check out our archived marriage tips in the Members' Zone, plus stacks more marriage resources at http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk

Starting out

Our son has just got engaged. We feel really excited for him and his fiancée, but also awed by what they are taking on. What advice would you give a young couple starting out on their married life?

What has been the key for you in finding happiness and stability together? What are the really good things about your marriage? What mistakes have you learnt from and would want others to avoid? What would you do differently? What do you wish someone had said to you before you got married? Do you think you would have listened?

Do you think your answers would be the same as your spouse's? Why not find some time this week to sit down over a meal and a bottle of wine or go down the pub for a drink and talk about some of these questions? Remember to be gentle and sensitive - no blaming each other.

If you think that your experience is something that could help another couple, why not find out more about how you could become a marriage mentor with a Community Family Trust or a couple going into schools with Students Exploring Marriage. Your story might be just what some young person needs to hear.

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> EVENTS

• how to be a better group leader
• using the Bible creatively
• refreshing prayer and worship in your group
• your group can grow!

> YOU'VE GOT TO LAUGH ...

One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready for church, to which he replied: "I'm not going."
"Why not?" she asked.
"I'll give you two good reasons," he said. "One, they don't like me, and two, I don't like them."
His mother replied: "I'll give YOU two good reasons why you SHOULD go to church. One, you're 54 years old, and two, you're the pastor!"

> CHRISTIAN FAMILY NETWORK THIS WEEK
(MEMBERS' ZONE) - http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/default.asp

> Advice

> How to value your child - sound advice from Care for the Family
> Eric Spellmann why he's changed browser from Internet Explorer
> Kate's Marriage advice - Starting out

> Resources

> Bruce W Cameron writes a letter to his dog
> Things I Have Learned
> Take our Intelligence Test

> News

> Fertility treatment 'will erode role of fathers'
> New mobile phone code aims to protect children
> Bishop: 'advertising is producing greedy kids'

> News extra

> Church role vital for family guidance, says report
> Oasis launches training for volunteer youthworkers

> Top sites this week

> Christian events guide
> Stewardship guidance and debt advice
> Delirious? tour latest

> Events: Care for the Family tours and day events in 2004 plus more of what's on near you

> Webwatch Index: more than 600 sites at your fingertips

> Site Search Engine: the easy way to trawl our 1,000-page plus archives

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