Dads - be a 'safe place' for your family - CFN Newsletter Week 122

CHRISTIAN FAMILY NETWORK NEWSLETTER 122

> Dan Seaborn on how dads can be a 'safe place' for their families
> News:
> EA says marriage is being hijacked
> Scooby Doo film drugs warning
> Text flirting - as serious as an affair?
> Sites:
> Your prayers can help cut crime!
> What has Scripture Union got for your family?
> Countdown to Soul in the City
> Sound advice for working parents
> Marriage MOT: Security - what does it mean for you?
> You've got to laugh: The thumbsucker and the pregnant woman ...
> Members' Zone latest

OUR SPONSORS FOR THIS WEEK

Check out the UK's only dedicated monthly magazine for Christian women - Woman Alive - at http://www.womanalive.co.uk

Hi all
Being a parent is all about loving and giving, caring and not counting the cost, learning when to discipline and when to let go, bringing up our children as best we can to fulfil their God-given potential, and so much more.

It's an imprecise science where we never stop learning - and we'll quite often see our children flourish despite our imperfections, rather than because of all the things we did right!

So two contributions in this update take a look at failure (Alison Farnell), and the pain of two Christian mums whose daughters came out as l***bians (asterisked so that your mail filters won't reject this message as spam!).

Hard issues - most of us grapple with the first, and some at least will faced the second, or may do in the future.

We've also got some encouraging advice for dads, Eric Spellmann's technical knowhow on getting your old videos onto CD, some great humour plus all the news, top websites and more.

By the way - we'd love to hear what you thought of The Passion of the Christ, if you saw it, and any impact it may have had locally on people you know. Should the DVD certificate be lowered to 15, as some maintain? Let us know!

Every blessing

Russ Bravo
Christian Family Network
info@cfnetwork.co.uk
http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk

PS Christian Family Network is here to direct you to the best in parenting, marriage and family resources; to link you up with other Christian families up and down the UK; and to help you make the most of life as a follower of Christ - at home, at work, at school and college, at play and online.

Your feedback, positive and negative, enables us to develop CFN in the way that is most useful for you - so please tell us if we're off the rails or on the button!

And don't forget - if we can pass on material (sample copies of Families Together, leaflets) which will help you tell your friends and your church about CFN, just mail Lyn Bedford at marketing@christianmedia.org.uk and she'll be glad to help you out.

ADVICE

An Open Letter to Fathers

by Dan Seaborn

A friend of mine recently shared with me a letter she wrote about men and their responsibilities at home. It is a reflection of her family's thoughts about their dad.

Our youngest daughter was beautiful, with ocean-blue eyes and a tumble of tawny curls. At age three, she liked to climb onto her dad's lap after a meal, snuggle up to his chest with a wide, satisfied smile, and purr: "Daddy you're my safe place." And so he was, for all the members of his family.

Dads ... husbands ... in the eyes of your family, YOU are to be the "safe place" to go. You are our protector and provider. When you gather us together for a time with God, we need a "safe place". We need a "safe place", not a lecture about our shortcomings. A "safe place", not a sermon. We need a dad, a husband, who simply cares a lot about God and us. We don't need, or even want, a "spiritual giant". We just want you, as you are.

Your family needs a "safe place" to cry, laugh, sing, rejoice, challenge, share, confess, and sometimes just to keep quiet and have it okay. Your family needs time with you and God that's relaxed - unstiff, where we can pray honestly, in simple sentences, from our hearts.

Unfixed. Unrigid. Unroutine. Unshackled. Real.

We, your family, need a "safe place" where irregular opinions are respected, and where God has the last word.

We need a gentleman leader, not a general. Gracious. Relaxed. Human. A family shepherd who exhibits not infallible authority, but authentic thirst for God.

Sit-down devotions every day? Not necessarily. Often? Yes. Long? Please, no! Formal? No. Where? Different places (be creative). How? Keep reading.

Dads, husbands, just try to sense where we're at, and zero in. We may need heavy-duty confessing to each other and God ... or just silent prayer ... or exuberant praise ... or Bible study. But we don't need it all, every time.

Thanks for listening, fathers. We love you! Your family.

> THIS WEEK'S NEWS

> Evangelical Alliance claims ‘marriage’ is being hijacked

Following the second reading of the Civil Partnership Bill in the House of Lords, the Evangelical Alliance, continues to reject suggestions that there can be moral or legal equivalence between marriage and same-sex partnerships.

Go to http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/news.asp for the full story

> Scooby Doo 2 – drugs warning from Christian charity

A UK Christian anti-addiction charity says even a popular children’s film contains drug references.

Go to http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/resources.asp for the full story

> Text flirting as serious as an affair, say couples

Sending flirtatious e-mails or phone texts behind a partner's back is just as damaging as a "real life'' affair according to new research, reports the Independent.

Go to http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/news.asp for the full story

> MARRIAGE MOT

> Check out our archived marriage tips in the Members' Zone, plus stacks more marriage resources at http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk

Secure? Why?

Have you ever stopped to consider what makes you feel secure?

Perhaps it’s about a life where little changes, where you know just where you are. Perhaps you need to feel in control of things, or to be constantly reassured of your partner’s love.

Perhaps it’s linked with money or your career. Maybe it’s about your faith in God. Or perhaps it’s about having a sense of purpose.

Why not talk to your loved one about what makes you feel secure - and find out what makes them feel that way? If you dare, you could begin to explore what makes each of you feel insecure.

Often our behaviour is affected by insecurity as we seek to protect ourselves or to hit out defensively in our words. It helps to know what makes us feel insecure, because then we can understand why we react in certain ways, and take steps to support and help one another when we’re under pressure.

> EVENTS

Catch up with the latest at http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/resources.asp

Send your family/church event to info@cfnetwork.co.uk for a free listing.

> SITES WORTH SEEING

www.parentalk.co.uk/atwork/default.asp - "every parent is a working parent - not only those in paid employment. But this section, and the Parentalk at Work initiative, is for every parent in paid employment who is trying to strike a healthy balance between work and home." Take a look for some sound advice

Soul in the City is only a few months away now - check out their website for the latest on this exciting venture that will see thousands of young people making a difference in needy communities in London this summer

Scripture Union has a wide ranging ministry to families and children. Take a look at their packed website to find out more about holidays, new Bible teaching resources, schools work and their Bible notes specifically for youngsters, like Snapshots and One Up

Prayer changes things - and can be a crimestopper. That's the evidence from pioneering projects linking local churches and Christians with their local police. Take a look at the Christian Police Association's website and see if you might want to get involved

> YOU'VE GOT TO LAUGH ...

A boy had reached four without giving up the habit of sucking his thumb, though his mother had tried everything from bribery to reasoning to painting it with lemon juice to discourage the habit.

Finally she tried threats, warning her son that: "If you don't stop sucking your thumb, your stomach is going to blow up like a balloon."

Later that day, walking in the park, mother and son saw a pregnant woman sitting on a bench. The four-year-old considered her gravely for a minute, then spoke to her saying: "Uh-oh ... I know what you've been doing."

[forwarded by Becky Ayers]

www.mikeysfunnies.com

> CHRISTIAN FAMILY NETWORK THIS WEEK
(MEMBERS' ZONE) - http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/default.asp

> Advice

> Kate's Marriage advice - what's your security
> Dan Seaborn has some encouraging advice for dads
> Eric Spellmann on transferring your videos to CD

> Resources

> Airline humour - when pilots and engineers swap notes
> Alison Farnell - how do we handle failure?

> News

> EA says marriage is being hijacked
> Scooby Doo film drugs warning
> Text flirting - as serious as an affair?

> Top sites this week
> Your prayers can help cut crime!
> What has Scripture Union got for your family?
> Countdown to Soul in the City
> Sound advice for working parents

> Events: What's on near you

> Webwatch index: more than 650 sites categorised at your fingertips

> Site Search Engine: the easy way to trawl our 1,000-page plus archives

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