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Keeping
faith in the family - CFN Newsletter Week 128 > OUR
SPONSORS FOR THIS WEEK The UK's only weekly newspaper with news from across the churches - and around the world - http://www.christianherald.org.uk > FROM THE EDITOR Take a break and get stuck into this week's update:
Plus ... great sites to visit ... the latest news ... Kate's marriage tips and more. Next update: Doug Barnett on growing older fruitfully, and Alison Atkinson-Phillips' guide to being a godparent Enjoy
the sun - but make sure you're well stocked with 15 factor + sunscreen! PS Christian
Family Network is here to direct you to the best in parenting,
marriage and family resources; to link you up with other Christian
families up and down the UK; and to help you make the most of
life as a follower of Christ - at home, at work, at school and
college, at play and online. And
don't forget - if we can pass on material (sample copies of Families
Together, leaflets) which will help you tell your friends and
your church about CFN, just mail Lyn Bedford at marketing@christianmedia.org.uk and
she'll be glad to help you out. How to keep faith in the family
All Christian parents want to pass their faith onto their children. Few Christian parents feel confident in doing so. Statistics tell us that the Church is losing its young people in droves: anecdotal evidence shows us that there are no guarantees that dedicated Christian parents will have dedicated Christian children. And often it is the children of the leaders who go off the rails with the most spectacular crashes. So what can we do? Rachael Orrell is part of the Spring Harvest leadership team, and mother to three daughters. She also grew up in a Christian family - and has been able to use the strengths of that in her relationships with her own children. "I was privileged to be brought up in a home where the unwritten mission statement was 'Love others more than yourself'. Jesus was the centre of our home life." How do she and husband Mark make that happen for their own family? "Life is so busy but we need to lead our families, give our children direction, purpose and love. It is easier when they are younger, and there are a lot of things we can do - creative prayer, developing a sense of wonder. As a result of this, my girls always notice the sky and view God as a wonderful artist. Having a practical belief that God's Word is a living book and giving them verses and biblical illustrations of life have also been key in helping the girls to learn to trust God's Word and his promises." Rachael's children are Bethany (16), Hannah (14) and Lydia (10). How have her strategies changed as the girls have grown older? "We have adapted - passing on our faith comes more out of a friendship now rather than the set things we did when they were younger. Often my eldest two will sit up talking, late into the night, about life and the challenges they face. Through discussion, you can naturally pass on godly values and guidelines." One 'resource' that Rachael sometimes uses to promote discussions is the soaps. "I struggled with letting them watch EastEnders, because I don't like it. But after talking to them, I realised that by not letting them watch it, they were getting isolated in the playground. And they couldn't be salt and light in school when people are discussing the issues raised by EastEnders if they don't watch it! So we decided that they could, once they reached secondary school age. I make myself watch it too and talks on values do come out of it." In fact, Rachael feels that taking an interest is essential, whatever your children are into. "I watch Top of the Pops with the girls, and we talk about what comes up, for instance, Tatoo, the two lesbian girls - that led to lengthy chats about sexuality. Watching Comic Relief (up to 9pm) meant we could talk about world needs, and it had a profound effect on Lydia, then aged nine." What challenges has she seen other parents face with children who are older than hers? "Rejection of the parents' faith. Our prayer is that regardless, our children will always know that we love and care for them, and that we will be there for them. We have brought them up to be independent and to take responsibility. That also means that they take their own decisions, and some of them are not for the best. But I am a great believer that we can learn from our mistakes. "The key is that parents don't preach and thus push their kids away, but lovingly support them and guide them, when asked. As Josh McDowell says: 'Rules without relationship lead to rebellion'."
> THIS WEEK'S NEWS > Christian
charity welcomes review of prostitution law Go to http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/news.asp for the full story > Money
advice for school leavers Go to http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/resources.asp for the full story > 250K
milestone for national charity Go to http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/news.asp for the full story > MARRIAGE
MOT Love
is ... not boastful > EVENTS Catch up with the latest at http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/resources.asp Send your family/church event to info@cfnetwork.co.uk for a free listing. > SITES WORTH SEEING In Raising
Pure Kids in an Impure World, authors Richard and
Renee Durfield - parents of four grown children - show
how parents can plant within their children a vision
of sexual wholeness and purity that will help them say
no to the world's view of morality and joyfully embrace
God's best for them. Check out a preview of the book,
including an outline of their concept of a 'key talk'
between parent and child at www.kleroo.com Are you a godparent, or looking to ask friends or family to take on the role? Check out www.egodparent.co.uk for advice, info and much more Strengthen your marriage to withstand the buffetings of life's ups and downs - for ideas on weekends away, training, teaching and relationship deepening, take a look at www.promoting-marriage.org.uk If things have gone wrong for you or a friend, and you're working through separation and divorce, confidential support is available from the Aquila Care Trust at www.aquilatrust.org > YOU'VE GOT TO LAUGH ... B.O.O.K. Compact
and portable, it can be used anywhere - even sitting in an armchair
by the fire - yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information
as a CD-ROM disk. The
user scans each sheet optically, registering information directly
into his or her brain. A flick of the finger takes the user to
the next sheet. An optional "BOOKmark" accessory
allows the user to open the BOOK to the exact place left in a previous
session - even if the BOOK has been closed. BOOKmarks fit universal
design standards; thus a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs by
various manufacturers. > CHRISTIAN
FAMILY NETWORK THIS WEEK > Advice > Resources > News > Book
excerpt: helping your kids stay pure > News
extra: Church Army's summer message for youth Christian
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