Keeping faith in the family - CFN Newsletter Week 128

CHRISTIAN FAMILY NETWORK NEWSLETTER 128

> Alison Hull talks to family ministry specialist Rachael Orrell about children and faith
> News:
> Welcome for review of prostitution law
> 250K milestone for national charity
> Money advice for school leavers
> Sites:
> Book excerpt: helping your kids stay pure
>
Help for godparents
> Refresh and strengthen your marriage
> Help for those going through separation/divorce
> Marriage MOT: Love is ... not boastful
> You've got to laugh: New technology - meet B.O.O.K.
> Members' Zone latest

> OUR SPONSORS FOR THIS WEEK

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> FROM THE EDITOR

Take a break and get stuck into this week's update:

  • how did the Silver Ring Thing tour impact the UK's teenagers? Read our full report
  • Joni on the lessons she learned from a geriatric ward
  • Richard Staples grapples with kids, birthday parties and Harry Potter
  • how's life? Maybe it's dictated by your attitude ...

Plus ... great sites to visit ... the latest news ... Kate's marriage tips and more.

Next update: Doug Barnett on growing older fruitfully, and Alison Atkinson-Phillips' guide to being a godparent

Enjoy the sun - but make sure you're well stocked with 15 factor + sunscreen!

Russ Bravo
Christian Family Network
info@cfnetwork.co.uk
http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk

PS Christian Family Network is here to direct you to the best in parenting, marriage and family resources; to link you up with other Christian families up and down the UK; and to help you make the most of life as a follower of Christ - at home, at work, at school and college, at play and online.

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And don't forget - if we can pass on material (sample copies of Families Together, leaflets) which will help you tell your friends and your church about CFN, just mail Lyn Bedford at marketing@christianmedia.org.uk and she'll be glad to help you out.

How to keep faith in the family

  • Christian leader and mother of three, Rachael Orrell, believes loving support not preaching is the key to helping children find their faith. By ALISON HULL

All Christian parents want to pass their faith onto their children. Few Christian parents feel confident in doing so.

Statistics tell us that the Church is losing its young people in droves: anecdotal evidence shows us that there are no guarantees that dedicated Christian parents will have dedicated Christian children. And often it is the children of the leaders who go off the rails with the most spectacular crashes. So what can we do?

Rachael Orrell is part of the Spring Harvest leadership team, and mother to three daughters. She also grew up in a Christian family - and has been able to use the strengths of that in her relationships with her own children.

"I was privileged to be brought up in a home where the unwritten mission statement was 'Love others more than yourself'. Jesus was the centre of our home life."

How do she and husband Mark make that happen for their own family?

"Life is so busy but we need to lead our families, give our children direction, purpose and love. It is easier when they are younger, and there are a lot of things we can do - creative prayer, developing a sense of wonder. As a result of this, my girls always notice the sky and view God as a wonderful artist. Having a practical belief that God's Word is a living book and giving them verses and biblical illustrations of life have also been key in helping the girls to learn to trust God's Word and his promises."

Rachael's children are Bethany (16), Hannah (14) and Lydia (10). How have her strategies changed as the girls have grown older?

"We have adapted - passing on our faith comes more out of a friendship now rather than the set things we did when they were younger. Often my eldest two will sit up talking, late into the night, about life and the challenges they face. Through discussion, you can naturally pass on godly values and guidelines."

One 'resource' that Rachael sometimes uses to promote discussions is the soaps.

"I struggled with letting them watch EastEnders, because I don't like it. But after talking to them, I realised that by not letting them watch it, they were getting isolated in the playground. And they couldn't be salt and light in school when people are discussing the issues raised by EastEnders if they don't watch it! So we decided that they could, once they reached secondary school age. I make myself watch it too and talks on values do come out of it."

In fact, Rachael feels that taking an interest is essential, whatever your children are into.

"I watch Top of the Pops with the girls, and we talk about what comes up, for instance, Tatoo, the two lesbian girls - that led to lengthy chats about sexuality. Watching Comic Relief (up to 9pm) meant we could talk about world needs, and it had a profound effect on Lydia, then aged nine."

What challenges has she seen other parents face with children who are older than hers?

"Rejection of the parents' faith. Our prayer is that regardless, our children will always know that we love and care for them, and that we will be there for them. We have brought them up to be independent and to take responsibility. That also means that they take their own decisions, and some of them are not for the best. But I am a great believer that we can learn from our mistakes.

"The key is that parents don't preach and thus push their kids away, but lovingly support them and guide them, when asked. As Josh McDowell says: 'Rules without relationship lead to rebellion'."

> THIS WEEK'S NEWS

> Christian charity welcomes review of prostitution law

Christian social concern charity CARE has cautiously welcomed proposals put forward by the Government in a wide-ranging review of the law on prostitution.

Go to http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/news.asp for the full story

> Money advice for school leavers

This week as thousands of teenagers leave school, figures from the UK's leading debt charity show rising levels of debt in the under 20s over the last two years.

Go to http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/resources.asp for the full story

> 250K milestone for national charity

Since Care for the Family was launched in 1989, over a quarter of a million people have attended the organisation's popular family-building events.

Go to http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/news.asp for the full story

> MARRIAGE MOT

> Check out our archived marriage tips in the Members' Zone, plus stacks more marriage resources at http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk

Love is ... not boastful
Boasting reveals our insecurity. We all like to have the opportunity to share our successes and be affirmed by others, but boasting goes far beyond that. It’s when we spend our time building up our ego, by telling everyone how clever we are, with a bit of embellishing added to the truth. It’s main focus is on itself and after a while it becomes very unattractive.

When we boast, we tend to lose sight of reality. How dangerous that is in a relationship, where honesty and openness are so important.

How can you love someone who is always blowing their own trumpet – there’s little opportunity to tell them how much you appreciate them. There is little that you can give to them, because they do it so much better themselves. In fact do they actually need you at all?

Do you ever get boastful? Have you ever thought about the effect is has on your loved one?

> EVENTS

Catch up with the latest at http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/resources.asp

Send your family/church event to info@cfnetwork.co.uk for a free listing.

> SITES WORTH SEEING

In Raising Pure Kids in an Impure World, authors Richard and Renee Durfield - parents of four grown children - show how parents can plant within their children a vision of sexual wholeness and purity that will help them say no to the world's view of morality and joyfully embrace God's best for them. Check out a preview of the book, including an outline of their concept of a 'key talk' between parent and child at www.kleroo.com

Are you a godparent, or looking to ask friends or family to take on the role? Check out www.egodparent.co.uk for advice, info and much more

Strengthen your marriage to withstand the buffetings of life's ups and downs - for ideas on weekends away, training, teaching and relationship deepening, take a look at www.promoting-marriage.org.uk

If things have gone wrong for you or a friend, and you're working through separation and divorce, confidential support is available from the Aquila Care Trust at www.aquilatrust.org

> YOU'VE GOT TO LAUGH ...

B.O.O.K.

Announcing the new Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge device (BOOK). It's a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It's so easy to use, even a child can operate it.

Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere - even sitting in an armchair by the fire - yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disk.

Here's how it works: Each BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper, each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. These pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder that keeps the sheets in their correct sequence.

The user scans each sheet optically, registering information directly into his or her brain. A flick of the finger takes the user to the next sheet.

The BOOK may be taken up at any time and used by merely opening it. The "browse" feature allows the user to move instantly to any sheet and to move forward or backward as desired. Most BOOKs come with an "index" feature that pinpoints the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval.

An optional "BOOKmark" accessory allows the user to open the BOOK to the exact place left in a previous session - even if the BOOK has been closed. BOOKmarks fit universal design standards; thus a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs by various manufacturers.

Portable, durable, and affordable, the BOOK is the entertainment wave of the future, and many new titles are expected soon, due to the surge in popularity of its programming tool, the Portable Erasable-Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language Stylus (PENCILS).

From www.mikeysfunnies.com

> CHRISTIAN FAMILY NETWORK THIS WEEK
(MEMBERS' ZONE) -
http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/default.asp

> Advice

> Rachael Orrell on keeping faith in the family
> Kate's Marriage advice -
Love is kind

> Resources

> Denise Pfeiffer reports back on the Silver Ring Thing UK tour
> Richard Staples grapples with kids, birthday parties and Harry Potter
> Life treating you roughly? Take an attitude check ...
> Joni on lessons from a geriatric ward

> News

> Welcome for review of prostitution law
> 250K milestone for national charity
> Money advice for school leavers

> Sites:

> Book excerpt: helping your kids stay pure
>
Help for godparents
> Refresh and strengthen your marriage
> Help for those going through separation/divorce

> News extra: Church Army's summer message for youth

> Top sites this week

> Book excerpt: helping your kids stay pure
>
Help for godparents
> Refresh and strengthen your marriage
> Help for those going through separation/divorce


> Events: What's on near you


> Webwatch index: more than 700 sites categorised at your fingertips

> Site Search Engine: the easy way to trawl our 1,000-page plus archives

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