How to motivate your kids - CFN Newsletter Week 132

CHRISTIAN FAMILY NETWORK NEWSLETTER 132

> Got a lethargic teenager? Youngsters who just won't help out? Take some practical tips on getting them moving
> News:
> Parenting challenge at Care for the Family event
> Family-friendly policies plea for political parties
> Hallowe'en launch for ex-witch's updated book
> Sites:
> How to be an ethical consumer
> How to use the internet for outreach
> Men: how to use the web with integrity
> Marriage MOT: Vows and promises
> You've got to laugh: Fight the good fight
> Members' Zone latest

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> FROM THE EDITOR

Hi all

Ever tried to get your youngsters helping out, with little success? Or maybe they just don't seem encouraged and motivated to get the best out of life. Just check out our practical tips from Crosswalk in this week's newsletter.

Would you like your family and household to run on more ethical lines - in everything from your food shopping to energy consumption? Check out our ethical consumer recommended sites below.

There's plenty more from family news and Kate's Marriage tips, to Eric Spellmann's internet advice and the lighter side of life, in our latest update.

Enjoy!

God bless
Russ Bravo
Christian Family Network
info@cfnetwork.co.uk
http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk

PS Christian Family Network is here to direct you to the best in parenting, marriage and family resources; to link you up with other Christian families up and down the UK; and to help you make the most of life as a follower of Christ - at home, at work, at school and college, at play and online.

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ADVICE

How to motivate your kids

• Help from Crosswalk.com - practical tips to enable you to tackle your lethargic youngsters
  

Does your son ignore you when you ask him to help with household chores? Does your daughter put off her homework until the last possible moment?

If you're frustrated at how unmotivated your kids are, it may seem like nothing will spur them into action. But there is hope. While negative tactics like nagging and punishment won't work, positive approaches will likely bring about the changes you hope to see.

Here are some ways you can motivate your kids:

Establish a close relationship with your kids. Let each child know that you deeply love him or her. Make your children a top priority in your life. Be willing to sacrifice other things so you can spend lots of time with your children. Build common ground with your kids by finding activities you both enjoy and doing them together. Listen carefully to your children when they open up to you. Know that if you build a strong relationship with your kids, they'll want to live up to your expectations.

Set a good example for your kids. Realize that your own attitudes and behaviour have an enormous impact on your children. For example, if you want them to be interested in school, show them that you love learning yourself. Strive to inspire your kids as they see the positive choices you make. Whenever you make a mistake, admit it, and try to learn from it so your kids can see that it's okay to take risks. Find other good role models among your friends and family members, and encourage your children to spend some time with those people.

Have high expectations for your kids. Ask God to help you see each of your children as He sees them and to understand their unique interests, talents, and skills. Dream big for your kids and help them grow into their fullest potential. Understand that when children know they're expected to succeed, they often do. Don't criticize your kids when they fail; instead, encourage them to try again. Recognize and show appreciation for their successes, no matter how small. Don't compare your kids to other kids. Show your kids that you love them for who they are, not what they do. Don't bribe your children to get good grades.

Rather than rewarding the specific grades, show them that you value the subjects they're learning and the process by which they're learning them. Show that you're excited about learning and seek to instil a lifelong love of learning in your kids. Let them know that they can learn new things with confidence because you will love, encourage, and support them in the process.

Be patient with your kids. Don't try to force your kids to mature or perform in a certain way. Instead, give your children the freedom to develop and learn at their own pace. If your kids are stressed by a schedule that's too full, drop activities so they can have some time for free play. Know that free time will actually help them learn more because it will enhance their creativity. Be patient as your children go through transitions (like adjusting to a new school), or if they're late bloomers.

Help your kids know that they're part of something bigger than themselves. Tell them stories so they can understand more about how they fit into the world. Let them know that their lives have meaning in the context of the larger story of life. Inspire your kids with stories of how other people have overcome obstacles and worked hard to succeed. Ignite your children's imagination so they'll want to set goals and achieve them.

• For more great articles and resources to help you grow in your faith, visit: http://link.crosswalk.com/UM/T.asp?A1.11.26166.1.476786
• For the rest of this article, head for our Advice section at www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/advice.asp

> THIS WEEK'S NEWS

> Parents helped in challenging circumstances

Parents facing difficult family issues attended The Parenting Challenge – an annual weekend organised by national charity Care for the Family at Hothorpe Hall in Leicestershire last month.

Go to http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/news.asp for the full story

> Relate challenge political parties to formulate family-friendly policies

Mothers and fathers could win new rights to paid parental leave after the general election, under controversial plans floated by Labour according to The Times.

Go to http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/resources.asp for the full story

> Hallowe’en launch for updated version of ex-witch testimony book

31 October will again be a day of contention between those who charge the Church with overplaying its significance and those who staunchly guard against the pagan ‘celebration’ of spirit appeasement.

Go to http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/news.asp for the full story

> MARRIAGE MOT

Vows and promises

What can you remember of your wedding day? Did you make specific vows to each other or did you simply consent to marry each other? Were you involved in creating your own vows or did you use the ones many are familiar with from church weddings?

Somehow the vows we make to each other provide a framework to support our married life. When times are tough, the words come back to us and remind us what this strange thing called marriage is all about. They give us principles to live by and love by.

I like to keep my promises, but the word “vow” seems to mean something even more. It speaks of commitment, of setting my heart to behave in a particular way. There is a weightiness and seriousness to it.

When I married I didn’t promise to be perfect, but I made a commitment to try to act and live in a special way. It involved an attitude of my heart, an intention that was not taken lightly.

What did your marriage vows mean to you both?

Are you still committed to live that way?

> Check out our archived marriage tips in the Members' Zone, plus stacks more marriage resources at http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk

> EVENTS

> YOU'VE GOT TO LAUGH ...

Fighting the good fight …

An old Cherokee Indian was teaching his grandson about life.

"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy. "It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

"The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a long minute, and then asked: "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee replied simply: "The one you feed."

From Faith and Fun, www.newlifepublishing.co.uk

> CHRISTIAN FAMILY NETWORK THIS WEEK
(MEMBERS' ZONE) - http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/default.asp

> Advice

> How to motivate your kids
> Eric Spellmann on some amazing and unlikely uses for the internet
> Kate's Marriage advice - Vows and promises

> Resources

> Have a chuckle with the lighter side of life
> Bruce Cameron goes kayaking ...
> Elisabeth Corcoran has some words of wisdom for couples

> News

> Parenting challenge at Care for the Family event
> Family-friendly policies plea for political parties
> Hallowe'en launch for ex-witch's updated book
> News extra: YFC scheme reduces youth offending

> Sites:

> How to be an ethical consumer
> How to use the internet for outreach
> Men: how to use the web with integrity

> Events: What's on near you

> Webwatch index: more than 700 sites categorised at your fingertips

> Site Search Engine: the easy way to trawl our 1,000-page plus archives

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