Challenge for the Church to help parents of troubled teenagers - CFN Newsletter Week 149

CHRISTIAN FAMILY NETWORK NEWSLETTER 149

> 'Feral' youths? Broken home stereotype isn't always right says Salford-based Message Trust
> News:
> Victims of mobile bullying as young as 11
> Pioneering developments help couples stay together
> Spaniards plan march on Madrid to protect family life
> Sites:
> Parents - get stuck into the Word ... with your teenager
> How well do you know the Bible? Try this quiz
> More help for believers fighting online temptation
> Video games - fighting back against the dross
> Marriage MOT: What is trust?
> You've got to laugh: The pastor at the petrol pump
> Members' Zone latest

> OUR SPONSORS FOR THIS WEEK

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> FROM THE EDITOR

Dear all

Well, we didn't win an award, but we were very proud for Families Together to be shortlisted with just four others in the Andrew Cross Awards national Christian periodical of the year at Swanwick this week.

With stablemates Christian Herald and Woman Alive shortlisted last year, we thought it might be FT's turn, and it was great to be picked out.

Our news this update is right on the button, from the ubiquitous problem of tearaway teenagers to the court case of the abused child accused of witchcraft, and from the Government's sexual health policies to celebrities raising money for family support. There's plenty to get your teeth into.

Do come back to us with your thoughts, ideas, suggestions and questions - we love to hear from you!

Enjoy the sun (while it lasts)

Russ :)

Russ Bravo
Christian Family Network
info@cfnetwork.co.uk
http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk

PS Christian Family Network is here to direct you to the best in parenting, marriage and family resources; to link you up with other Christian families up and down the UK; and to help you make the most of life as a follower of Christ - at home, at work, at school and college, at play and online.

Your feedback, positive and negative, enables us to develop CFN in the way that is most useful for you - so please tell us if we're off the rails or on the button!

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REAL ISSUES

Lifeline on the streets

• Christians in Salford issue challenge to Church to help struggling families

A leading urban mission project has called on churches to care for the parents of what a police chief recently described as “feral youths” who terrorise communities up and down the country.

Chief Superintendent David Baines, of Greater Manchester police, spoke out against young people running wild without fear of the consequences. His comments came after a man was critically injured when confronting youths in an alley behind his home in Salford.

Chief Superintendent Baines said such incidents often stemmed from youths hanging around on street corners being abusive and causing trouble.

“They then go on to damage property,” he said, “or, as we have seen with Mr Carroll, to commit a very vicious and unprovoked assault. They are feral, have no parental control or respect for anybody and are often fuelled by alcohol. They don’t give a damn about the police or the criminal justice system.”

He warned that such problems were prevalent across the country. “Today it is Salford but tomorrow it will be somewhere else.”

The Message Trust has been involved in youth projects in Manchester for several years, and said it was concerned at the impact of David Baines’ statement on its work. The Trust runs Eden projects in the city, which see people move into disadvantaged areas to continue social action and mission work.

Matt Wilson, responsible for the projects, said: “We have had two Eden projects in Salford for some time. The attack, of course, is terrible but it is the sort of thing that happens everywhere. We work closely with David Baines and his comments were unfortunate in that they perpetrate an image of Salford that is bleak and hopeless. Our concern is that what he said has caused a fall-out in terms of relationship between people concerned to do the best they can for the area.”

Matt, and the rest of The Message team, are only too aware of the area’s social problems but insist that it is not all bad news.

“Yes, there are kids hanging around on street corners and sometimes it can seem very intimidating but our local team leader has lived in the area for five years, and he says it hasn’t got worse. Maybe people have just become more aware of the situation and believe it’s time to change the way we look at how to deal with disaffected young people.”

The Message Trust has further committed itself to Salford with the launch of The Big Deal initiative which sees the area’s churches link up to work on 50 “projects of kindness” across the city.

“It’s a whole year of sustained involvement in Salford, enabling churches to get connected to local democratic processes and make a difference. A team of youth workers will also take The Big Deal into every high school in Salford. A programme designed to challenge young people about issues of citizenship has been created especially for RE departments. This includes a stage production which presents The Big Deal of the Christian faith in an inspiring way. And when it is all over, the work goes on.”

But will the Church take up one of the main challenges?

“It’s very easy to paint a picture of the home lives of many of these kids on the streets that just isn’t true. We must be careful not to make assumptions. If we have cause to go to the homes of young people who might have been involved in trouble, more often than not they have two parents who are simply struggling to bring up teenagers in today’s society.

"They haven’t been taught how to care for their kids in adolescence, and they’re looking for help. We’re happy to work with the teens themselves but the challenge is for the Church to work with the parents. They are struggling, where else can they turn?”

• What do you think? Mail us your views to info@cfnetwork.co.uk

> THIS WEEK'S NEWS

> Victims of 'mobile bullying' as young as 11
 
One in 10 children across the UK have had a threatening or embarrassing photograph taken of them on a mobile phone, reveals research by Methodist charity NCH and Tesco Mobile.

Go to http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/news.asp for the full story

> Pioneering developments help couples stay together

The UK’s first ‘Housing with Care’ developments for older people living with dementia, created by charity Methodist Homes, are being welcomed by experts in the field as a breakthrough in providing more choice and opportunities for older people with dementia.

Go to http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/news.asp for the full story

> Spaniards plan march on Madrid to protect family life

Thousands of Catholic families from all over Spain will take part in a demonstration in Madrid on 18 June, to protest against government plans to allow same-sex marriages, immediate divorce, and other policies seen as threatening family life.

Go to http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/news.asp for the full story

> MARRIAGE MOT

> Check out our archived marriage tips in the Members' Zone, plus stacks more marriage resources at http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk

What is trust?

Trust lies at the heart of a strong relationship. When trust is lost we feel betrayed, angry and taken for granted. But what is trust? Trust is when we take as fact some belief we have, for which there is only partial evidence. For that very reason there is an element of uncertainty and risk involved. Whoever we are trusting may not always live up to the faith we are putting in them.

We talk of "placing our trust" in someone, which shows that it involves an action rather than just our feelings. Many parents of teenagers will identify with choosing to trust our child to be able to spend the weekend in the house on their own without throwing a wild party. We may feel somewhat anxious as we drive away from the house and have a strong urge to ring up and "check how things are going". There is a risk involved, they may let us down.

Often we place trust in a child according to what we know of their character, gradually giving them a bit more responsibility as we think they are mature enough and trustworthy enough to handle it. We see trust as something that must be earned or negotiated. We may trust other adults according to how much we know of their character, attitudes and behaviour.

Another way to see trust is as something that is inspired in someone when they are trusted. You place the trust, let go, and believe they will rise to the faith put in them. Yet another way is to trust, fully aware of the weakness of human nature and ready to forgive when someone lets us down.

From this we see that people can have different ideas of what it means to trust. Some people believe that they give trust, and it's their choice to give it, while others think it has to be earned, so it is the one who is to be trusted who has the choice.

Our ability to trust may be affected by our upbringing and past experiences, too. It is very easy within a marriage to assume we view trust in the same way as our partner, but assumptions can be misleading and lead to disappointment and hurt when things go wrong. How do you view trust?

> EVENTS

> YOU'VE GOT TO LAUGH ...

A minister was waiting in line to have his car filled with petrol just before a long holiday weekend (it's the US, where they still have petrol pump attendants). The attendant worked quickly, but there were still a lot of cars ahead of him in front of the service station.

Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.

"Reverend," said the young man, "sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip."

The minister chuckled: "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."

> CHRISTIAN FAMILY NETWORK THIS WEEK
(MEMBERS' ZONE) - http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/default.asp

> Advice
> Pastor Bob's challenge on sin
> Kate's Marriage advice - what is trust?
> Eric Spellmann on speeding up your ageing PC

> Resources
> Church must learn to support parents battling with troublesome teens
> Child protection - warnings and clarity following 'witchcraft' court case
> SPEAK events surrounding the G8 and Live8 events

> Magazine
> The lowdown on what's in our latest issue of Families Together

> News:
> Victims of mobile bullying as young as 11
> Pioneering developments help couples stay together
> Spaniards plan march on Madrid to protect family life
PLUS 'I'm a Celebrity' star Sheila Ferguson raises cash for Parentalk; Government under fire over sexual health policies; latest CofE marriage stats

> Sites:
> Parents - get stuck into the Word ... with your teenager
> How well do you know the Bible? Try this quiz
> More help for believers fighting online temptation
> Video games - fighting back against the dross

> Events: New family events plus what's on near you

> Webwatch index: more than 700 sites categorised at your fingertips

> Site Search Engine: the easy way to trawl our 1,000-page plus archives

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