Bullying
- and how to tackle it - CFN newsletter 81
CHRISTIAN FAMILY NETWORK NEWSLETTER 81
> Bullying: Ways
to handle one of your children's biggest headaches
> News:
> Black majority churches urged to do more for young people
> Bible Baddies: Bibliocards need your help!
> HRH award for disability work pioneer
> Sites:
> Youthwork sites in Cornwall and Oxfordshire
> Top wildlife artist and Christian Stephen Townsend
> Marriage MOT: Selfishness - who comes first?
> Events:
Stacks of new events for all ages
> Your feedback ... on school uniform
> You've got to laugh: The minister and the parking ticket
> Members' Zone latest
Dear all
Thanks for your prayers - we had no travel sick kids this year! Truly a miracle!
And some of us will be quietly praying for our youngsters as they get back into the swing of school this week. It's not easy - for us or them! And when bullying raises its ugly head, life can get very painful. So we hope you'll find this week's focus on the issue helpful - as well as our tips for Dads on getting alongside their lads.
Keep us in touch with your concerns and views - and the issues you'd like covered. CFN is here for you, so please use it and pass the word to others.
God bless
Russ Bravo
Christian Family Network
info@cfnetwork.co.uk
http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk
INSIGHT
BULLYING
- AND HOW TO TACKLE IT
- You may feel angry and helpless if your child is being bullied but there are steps you can take to help
John
was always very tall for his age and Margaret is very sensitive. But
bullies can always find a 'reason' to bully - wrong size, shape, race,
colour ... anything will do.
Being bullied can be traumatising for the child, leaving them feeling
frightened and alone, with their self-confidence in tatters. Parents
too can feel overwhelmed, not knowing what to do, or how to get support.
John, now 15, has been threatened with a broken bottle, kicked in
the teeth and hospitalised twice - and wonders what he ever did wrong.
Of course, he did nothing wrong: he's just taller than the other kids
and stands out.
"You want to scream to the world, and for the bullies to be punished,
and you want to protect your child," says his mum Sarah. But
like many teenagers, John feels he has to cope on his own.
"He begs me not to do anything," Sarah says. "He feels
he has to go back into school and face these children. If I get involved
his credibility goes down."
Margaret is a sensitive eight-year-old and can't shake off the teasing
in her primary school playground. It's not about anything in particular,
but her mum Jennie was horrified when Margaret told her she wanted
to run away so she wouldn't have to go to school.
"It
was making her ill. Things are calmer since the school got involved,
but I still worry."
Many parents feel angry and helpless about what is happening to their
children. But there is plenty you can do.
"You have to be there for your child, find a way to get them
to talk," says Sarah. "If they don't get support, then their
self-esteem goes down, leaving them more open to attack."
It's the law that every school has an anti-bullying policy in place.
So if your child is being bullied, check that the school is following
its own code. Talk to the teachers about how they intend to deal with
it, and make sure there's someone in the school who will listen to
your child when they say they're being bullied. Persistent bullies
can even be excluded.
At home, you can help to build your child's confidence so they can
feel less intimidated - most bullies enjoy knowing they are frightening
and soon give up if it doesn't work.
"I don't know what the power is that bullies have over other
children," says Sarah. "But I still believe there is good
in everybody - children need to learn about the effects of their bullying.
"But there is always something more you can do as a parent: you
have to fight for your child and always go one step further."
Would you spot the bullying signs? Try our quiz. What can you do? And what if your child is the bully? For the rest of this article go to our Advice section at http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/advice.asp
> THIS WEEK'S NEWS
>
Black
Majority Churches urged to do more for young people
The African and Caribbean Evangelical
Alliance (ACEA) has called on Black Majority Churches to raise
the level of priority they give to working with children and young
people.
Go to http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/news.asp for the full story
>
Bible Baddies: Bibliocards need your help!
Series Three of the increasingly popular Bibliocards
is to be entitled BiblioBaddies, but producers of the cards
have a question to ask.
Go to http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/resources.asp for the full story
> HRH award for disability work pioneer
Lin Berwick,
founder of the Lin
Berwick Trust, which builds self-catering holiday accommodation
for people with disabilities and their carers, has received a Royal
seal of approval for her work.
Go to http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/news.asp for the full story
>
MARRIAGE MOT
>
Check out our archived marriage tips in the Members'
Zone, plus stacks more marriage resources at http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk
.
Selfishness
- do your needs come first?
I'm not sure this word is very popular these days unless it's being
addressed at someone else. Everything is all right for me, but woe
betide someone who takes advantage of me.
And so we reveal the depth of selfishness around, because so often
we can only see things from our point of view. We can't even see how
self-centered and selfish we actually are!
Whatever our individualistic society has to say, I still believe that
most of our problems in life arise from selfishness, either our own
or someone else's. Selfishness is the enemy of any healthy relationship
and certainly any healthy marriage. The essence of love is to give,
to care for, to trust, to protect. The focus is on the needs of the
one we love, so selfishness can have no place.
Are you selfish? Do you think you have yawning great needs that demand
to be satisfied? Who's boss in your life? Who comes first in your
marriage? What comes first in your marriage? Are you expecting to
have your own way and how do you behave when you don't get it?
Why not take some time today to examine the attitudes you have to
your marriage relationship and ask yourself whether they are pulling
you apart or keeping you together?
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> EVENTS
Catch up with the latest in our Events guide in the Members' Zone at http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/resources.asp
Send your family/church event to info@cfnetwork.co.uk for a free listing.
> ALIVE FOR GOD THIS AUTUMN
Come
and join us this autumn for an afternoon of celebration and encouragement!
Our women's event Alive for God, hosted together with CWR
(Crusade for World Revival), has two dates lined up in November.
Under the title The Power of Prayer, expect superb teaching,
inspiring worship and the chance to meet together and be encouraged
by hundreds of other Christian women.
On 16 November, Faith Forster and Wendy Virgo will be the speakers
at St John's Church, Wimborne, Dorset, while on 23 November,
Elaine Storkey and Jennifer Rees-Larcombe will speak at Birmingham
Christian Centre.
Both events start at 2pm and should end by 5.30pm.
Tickets are £6 by post (one free with every group of 10
booked):
-
Wimborne: Monica Acton, Merry Hill Cottage, Long Lane, Colehill,Wimborne, Dorset BH21 7AQ (Tel 01202 885589)
-
Birmingham: Maxine Pitherson, Birmingham Christian Centre, 1 The Parade, Birmingham B1 3QQ (Tel 0121 236 2997)
Or £5 (before 30 September) when booking by credit card with Nicky Sue Leonard at CWR on 01252 784712.
> YOUR FEEDBACK ... on school uniform
With
reference to your item on school uniform ...
I've always thought of school uniform as a great leveller. It
means that rich and poor alike (and the majority who are in between)
are wearing essentially the same clothing.
Trying to keep up with the fashion for wearing big brand names
is not specific to school uniform. It's a reflection on fashion
(leisure and sportswear in particular) and our society in general.
To make this a specific criticism of school uniform seems to be
a skewed argument.
Let's face it, the children have to wear something for school.
We have to keep buying our children clothes because the children
either grow or wear out their clothes.
There
are many extremely reasonably priced outlets for school uniform
- particularly for primary school children. Often school uniform
can be actually cheaper than other clothing. I think it costs
me more to kit my children out for the summer holidays than it
does for a year at school!
Rosemary Johnston
Do
you agree? Send your view to info@cfnetwork.co.uk
or get a debate going on the Bulletin Board!
> SITES WORTH SEEING
Soteria magazine - www.soteriamag.org.uk - is a web-based publication produced by young Christians in Cornwall initially for young people locally, but now available online for anyone interested to take a look. Offering articles on key youth issues, a problem page, events and more, it's certainly well worth a visit.
Check
out some imaginative youthwork in rural Oxfordshire at www.xcell-uk.com
If
you enjoy wildlife art, you'll marvel at the superb paintings of Lancashire-born
artist and Christian Stephen Townsend. Recently named Artist of the
Year, and acclaimed across the world, you'll be convinced his astonishingly
detailed pictures are photographs! Enjoy his work at www.thetownsendgallery.co.uk
> YOU'VE GOT TO LAUGH ...
A minister
parked his car in a no-parking area in a large city because he was
short of time and couldn't find a parking space.
So he put a note under the windscreen wiper that read: "I have
circled the block 10 times. If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment.
Forgive us our trespasses."
When he returned, he found a ticket from a police officer along with
this note. "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't
give you a ticket, I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation."
From
the Grove Books newsletter
>
CHRISTIAN FAMILY NETWORK THIS WEEK
(MEMBERS' ZONE) - http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/default.asp
> Advice
> Bullying - sound advice on how to spot when it's happening to
your child, and what to do about it
> Dads and sons - how fathers can help their lads out and strengthen
the father-son relationship
>
Resources
> Who wants to be a millionaire? Some questions might not be as
easy as you think ...
>
News:
> Black majority churches urged to do more for youth
> Bible baddies - Bibliocards needs your help!
> Disability pioneer wins Royal award
> News extra
>
Charity sounds warning over 'microchip tracking' innovation for child
safety
> Facevalues campaign hits the streets - and the airwaves
> Reviews
> Great new PC games for youngsters from Tivola
>
Top sites this week
>
youthwork sites from Cornwall and Oxfordshire
> the amazing wildlife art of Stephen Townsend, shot through with
faith
> Guideposts for Kids - a fun Christian site with lots to learn,
and plenty of Bible-based fun
> Help your youngsters learn about music with the San Francisco
Symphony Orchestra
> Events: More of what's on near you
> Webwatch Index: more than 500 sites at your fingertips
> Site Search Engine: the easy way to trawl our 500-page
plus archives
Christian
Family Network, Christian Media Centre, Garcia Estate, Canterbury
Road, Worthing, West Sussex BN13 1EH, UK (01903 821082; subscriptions
01903 602100)
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