What do teenagers really need? - CFN newsletter Week 90

CHRISTIAN FAMILY NETWORK NEWSLETTER 90

> In our first excerpt from her book Youth In Exodus, Geraldine Witcher looks at what teenagers really need
> News:
> Schools help impart religious knowledge, says new survey
> National Marriage Week seeks romantic stories
> Students encouraged by Christmas outreach
> Sites:
> Leave condolences or a prayer for Stephen Oake's family
> Ship of Fools launch The Ark for 40 days
> Marriage MOT: Do you take each other for granted?
> Events: Book now for the small groups tour
> You've got to laugh: A wealthy man wants to take it with him
> Members' Zone latest

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Dear All

We start two book excerpts this update on issues of major concern to all of us as parents, and the Church as a whole:

• helping our teenagers grow into mature, rounded adults on fire for Christ
  
• how to bring new generations of youngsters into the Church, and a life-changing relationship with Jesus
  

We hope they will prove challenging, provocative and helpful.

We're encouraged by new families joining us week by week, and we believe God has good things in store for CFN in the future.

Do please pray for us - and for each other, as we strive to be faithful to God's purposes in our lives. In these dark and dangerous days, we need to care for and support one another all the more.

Shalom

Russ Bravo
Christian Family Network
info@cfnetwork.co.uk
http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk

PS Christian Family Network is here to direct you to the best in parenting, marriage and family resources; to link you up with other Christian families up and down the UK; and to help you make the most of life as a follower of Christ - at home, at work, at school and college, at play and online.

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INSIGHT

What Teenagers Need

• In this excerpt from Geraldine Witcher's book Youth In Exodus (Highland), the author examines the relationship between parents and teenagers - and helping yours share your faith in Jesus
  

"I just want to be treated like an adult."
"I'm not a child any more."
"You never listen."
"You don't understand."
"Don't treat me like a child."

If you are a parent of teenage children, you have probably had at least one of these retorts thrown at you in the course of a conversation. Teenagers want to be treated as adults. We look at them and see children. This differing viewpoint is an argument waiting to happen.

How do we avoid this?

We need perhaps to remember that today in the West, 'childhood' lasts longer than it has at any other time in history. Jesus was considered an adult member of society, like every Jewish boy at that time, at 12 when he had his Bar Mitzvah. Children of 12 and 13 used to be considered old enough to marry.

Yet these days, 18 is becoming more and more the normal age for leaving school, and even then increasing numbers of young people are continuing into further full-time education, thereby delaying their entry into the adult world of work by another three or four years. No wonder they sometimes get frustrated. Yet at other times, it seems that they want to be children again. A friend of mine, both of whose sons, now in their 20s are strong Christians, had these wise words to say:

"Children are the same as adults. Only difference is that they are smaller and lack training and experience. So far as possible, offer them the benefit of your experience, but don't force it on them. You won't always be around so they need training in making up their own minds. Start early. Rule 1. The child is not there for your benefit, you are there for his."

What the teenagers need is to be treated in a way that respects them as a person, while still continuing the training and modelling that began in early childhood. Communication remains vital but so does love. Discipline should be moving from adult imposed to self-imposed but the way and speed this happens will obviously vary from family to family and even child to child. Mutual respect and understanding should be growing as the child progresses through the teenage years.

But I think the most important thing we can do for our teenagers is to realise how important it is that our faith is lived out at home. If we are consistently Christian at home with them, and seeing them as part of the covenant people, many of the difficulties we see today will disappear.

In the rest of this article - Christianity as lifestyle, and modelling good relationships at home, go to our Advice section at http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/advice.asp

> THIS WEEK'S NEWS

> Schools help impart religious knowledge says new survey

For some 12-year-olds in Britain, Jesus performed one miracle too few: they wondered why he did not "fly like Superman".

Go to http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/news.asp for the full story

> National Marriage Week seeks romantic stories

Are you a romantic? Organisers of National Marriage Week (9 to 16 February) are attempting to compile a top ten of most romantically inspiring stories. The move springs from a recent Top Santé magazine survey of 2,000 women which found that most respondents thought sexual fulfilment was only to be found in marriage.

Go to http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/resources.asp for the full story

> Students encouraged by Christmas outreach

Reports are still coming in of successful carol services hosted by Christian Unions across the country. Venues included town halls, college buildings, a football stadium and a derelict church.

Go to http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/news.asp for the full story

> MARRIAGE MOT

> Check out our archived marriage tips in the Members' Zone, plus stacks more marriage resources at http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk

Taking each other for granted

It’s very easy to take each other for granted in marriage. We start off with strong commitment, and then family and work pressures begin to intrude. Our relationship gets pushed down the priority list.

We assume that our loved one knows they are loved, so we stop telling them so. Pressures build up from other quarters and we assume they will understand. Household tasks get divided up and we forget to check with each other that we are still happy with the arrangements we’ve made. Sometimes, we simply neglect our relationship, while at others it’s downright selfishness, we’re too lazy or apathetic or we want our own way.

One day we may wake up and discover our loved one has had enough, or that we feel distant and estranged from each other. Don’t leave it that long.

Is there any way you are taking your husband or wife for granted? When was the last time you told them or showed them that you loved them? What comes first your career, your agenda or them?

If you want your love to last, these are important questions to ask yourself. Why not do it today?

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> EVENTS

> YOU'VE GOT TO LAUGH ...

There once was a rich man who was near death. He was very grieved because he had worked so hard for his money and he wanted to be able to take it with him to heaven. So he began to pray that he might be able to take some of his wealth with him.

An angel heard his plea and appeared to him: "Sorry, but you can't take your wealth with you."

The man implored the angel to speak to God to see if He might bend the rules. The man continued to pray that his wealth could follow him. The angel reappeared and informed the man that God has decided to allow him to take one suitcase with him. Overjoyed, the man gathers his largest suitcase and filled it with pure gold bars and placed it beside his bed.

Soon afterward the man died and showed up at the Gates of Heaven to greet St Peter. Seeing the suitcase, Peter said: "Hold on, you can't bring that in here!"

But the man explained to him that he had permission and asked him to verify his story with the Lord. Sure enough, Peter checked and came back saying: "You're right. You are allowed one carry-on bag, but I'm supposed to check its contents before letting it through."

Peter opened the suitcase to inspect the worldly items that the man found too precious to leave behind and exclaimed: "You brought pavement?!!!"

www.mikeysfunnies.com

> CHRISTIAN FAMILY NETWORK THIS WEEK
(MEMBERS' ZONE) - http://www.cfnetwork.co.uk/members/default.asp

> Advice

> What do teenagers really need? Part one of our series from Youth in Exodus, by Geraldine Witcher

> Resources

> God's Plan for Children - part 1 of our excerpt from challenging Children's Ministry book by Dave Roberts
> Things my mum taught me ...
> Do you still have time to slow dance?
> Mums wanted ...

> News

> Schools help impart religious knowledge, says new survey
> National Marriage Week seeks romantic stories
> Students encouraged by Christmas outreach

> News Extra: research probes tweenagers and church

> Top sites this week

> Leave your prayer or condolence for Stephen Oake
> Ship of Fools to launch The Ark for 40 days online
> ICC sites for music and teaching resources
> Hand in Hand Christian ministry to the poor
> The Last Page on the Internet ...

> Books:

> John Woods on Walking with God - searching for meaning in an age of doubt, by J John and Chris Whalley; and The Kingdom of Jesus, by Roger Forster
> Russ Bravo on The Net Commandments – how to be a righteous nerd, by Norman Fraser

> Events: More of what's on near you

> Webwatch Index: more than 500 sites at your fingertips

> Site Search Engine: the easy way to trawl our 500-page plus archives

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