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COMMENT

Are abandoning our elderly?

Is our self-centred society creating a generation of neglected pensioners? HILARY MCDOWELL says the Bible is clear about our responsibilities

As Christmas recedes to a distant memory, we lay aside the haunting annual images of abandoned puppies and rejected kittens.

Those small, endearing animals with plaintive eyes appear on our screens every January providing human interest stories of how they have been given as Christmas presents and subsequently dumped when “Junior” has lost interest or they proved too messy, too hungry or too expensive.

We sigh, misty-eyed and genuinely wish we could stop such cruelty until the next news item distracts our attention and the slogan “A puppy is for life – not just for Christmas”, is packed away with the tinsel. This article could have been a plea to prevent such gross immorality against the animals which God has gifted us. We have them “on loan” from him and we will be called to give account of our stewardship of all creation at our final life’s judgement. Clearly Jesus showed this in his parable told in Luke 12:41-48 regarding the responsibility of the stewards of God’s property.

However, could it be that an even greater scandal is being enacted in Western society today? In horror we have recently observed documentaries highlighting the lack of proper respect and care shown to the elderly in some care homes in Britain. Nevertheless it is not even this atrocity which is the subject of my ‘Word for Today’. It would appear that, sadly, a much more insidious threat to the elderly exists often in respectable, middle-class, homes the length and breadth of the country.

Born of the slow and sinful leakage of love, a mixture of attitudes have been cultivated and made acceptable within our society:

The nuclear family concept considers “family” as basically: Mum, Dad and two children. Where does that leave Gran?
The rapidly increasing demands of a consumer society require as many of that family as possible to go out to work. If no-one is left at home free for a “caretaking” role, ought we to fearfully ask: is the very concept of the “extended” family dying? If so, what of the future for an increasingly ageing population whose numbers will, within a lifetime, overtake those of the working populace?
A morality which expects to offload increasing responsibility for care onto the state.
An “acceptable” tolerance of the selfish demands of the individual married to a growing ‘ageism’ that disrespects the “older” wisdom?

None of this is helped by Satan’s age-old temptation to avoid all problems, hardships or sacrifice which potentially threaten personal desires. If you don’t believe me, ask Eve. (Genesis 3:5).

God might just as well have said: “A Gran is for life – not just for Christmas”, when he talked of life-long honour and respect for our elders, (Exodus 30:12) and Jesus echoed it (Matthew 15:4). Yet many families have tied themselves in knots a few weeks ago to rush around the countryside swamping Gran, Granpa and other relatives with their attentions over the festive few days that we call Christmas, only to leave them virtually dying of loneliness for the rest of the year.

In my capacity as a Deaconess I have often had to pick up the pieces of such “waste matter” discarded by busy nuclear families. Yet nothing replaces the sight and sound of your own son or daughter. The best “rest” home in the world is a poor substitute indeed. Please don’t think me unsympathetic to the needs of the “others” in this traumatic triangle of older/younger/ and younger still, generation. I recognise that stages can be reached where seriously declining health demands constant medical care that cannot be given by the untrained.

However, the Bible, both by command and by example, has identified the family as the proper organ of care and love for all its generations, supported, not solely by some Government Agency, but by the body of the Church. God’s provision “setteth the solitary in families” (Psalm 68:6 AV). Our modern, western, lifestyle gives us a little too many opportunities and excuses to distance ourselves more and more from the personal, costly, and emotionally demanding responsibilities to those whom God has placed us close to.

For example do any of the following attitudes ring a bell?

Crying baby – get a babysitter or shove into a daycare facility
Obstreperous toddler – sit him in front of the TV (sometimes for hours)
Creative, energetic and intelligent primary school child – buy him a computer. It certainly keeps him motionless and occupied.
Elderly relative, a little too hungry for company and attention – well there’s always the “rest home”

What happened to sacrificial love? What happened to “God first, others’ second, and yourself last?”

What happened to the commitment to people first and career, wage packed, ambition, enjoyment, or personal satisfaction, a lesser priority? What happened to the responsibility to teach future generations the meaning of self-sacrifice instead of self-gratification?

We cannot teach this any other way than by example. What behaviour do the young observe in us? This one thing is certain, whatever they see will be their template of how they treat us in the future.

FOR FURTHER STUDY

The extended family:
1 Timothy 5:1-8
Genesis 8:15-16
Genesis 10:5
Genesis 47:11-12

The important place of families:
Zechariah 12:10-14
Ephesians 3:14
2 Timothy 1:5

Hilary McDowell, a deaconess for 22 years, now lives by faith exercising lay ministry across the denominations. An international speaker and Bible teacher, she is the author of five books and is based in Belfast

© Christian Family Network
is run by CPO, supported by
Care for the Family, Marriage Resource, Positive Parenting,
Care, Women Alive, Christian Herald and many others.


		COMMENT Are abandoning our elderly? Is our self-centred society creating a generation of neglected pensioners? HILARY MCDOWELL says the Bible is clear about our responsibilities As Christmas recedes to a distant memory, we lay aside the haunting annual images of abandoned puppies and rejected kittens. Those small, endearing animals with plaintive eyes appear on our screens every January providing human interest stories of how they have been given as Christmas presents and subsequently dumped when “Junior” has lost interest or they proved too messy, too hungry or too expensive. We sigh, misty-eyed and genuinely wish we could stop such cruelty until the next news item distracts our attention and the slogan “A puppy is for life – not just for Christmas”, is packed away with the tinsel. This article could have been a plea to prevent such gross immorality against the animals which God has gifted us. We have them “on loan” from him and we will be called to give account of our stewardship of all creation at our final life’s judgement. Clearly Jesus showed this in his parable told in Luke 12:41-48 regarding the responsibility of the stewards of God’s property. However, could it be that an even greater scandal is being enacted in Western society today? In horror we have recently observed documentaries highlighting the lack of proper respect and care shown to the elderly in some care homes in Britain. Nevertheless it is not even this atrocity which is the subject of my ‘Word for Today’. It would appear that, sadly, a much more insidious threat to the elderly exists often in respectable, middle-class, homes the length and breadth of the country. Born of the slow and sinful leakage of love, a mixture of attitudes have been cultivated and made acceptable within our society: The nuclear family concept considers “family” as basically: Mum, Dad and two children. Where does that leave Gran? The rapidly increasing demands of a consumer society require as many of that family as possible to go out to work. If no-one is left at home free for a “caretaking” role, ought we to fearfully ask: is the very concept of the “extended” family dying? If so, what of the future for an increasingly ageing population whose numbers will, within a lifetime, overtake those of the working populace? A morality which expects to offload increasing responsibility for care onto the state. An “acceptable” tolerance of the selfish demands of the individual married to a growing ‘ageism’ that disrespects the “older” wisdom? None of this is helped by Satan’s age-old temptation to avoid all problems, hardships or sacrifice which potentially threaten personal desires. If you don’t believe me, ask Eve. (Genesis 3:5). God might just as well have said: “A Gran is for life – not just for Christmas”, when he talked of life-long honour and respect for our elders, (Exodus 30:12) and Jesus echoed it (Matthew 15:4). Yet many families have tied themselves in knots a few weeks ago to rush around the countryside swamping Gran, Granpa and other relatives with their attentions over the festive few days that we call Christmas, only to leave them virtually dying of loneliness for the rest of the year. In my capacity as a Deaconess I have often had to pick up the pieces of such “waste matter” discarded by busy nuclear families. Yet nothing replaces the sight and sound of your own son or daughter. The best “rest” home in the world is a poor substitute indeed. Please don’t think me unsympathetic to the needs of the “others” in this traumatic triangle of older/younger/ and younger still, generation. I recognise that stages can be reached where seriously declining health demands constant medical care that cannot be given by the untrained. However, the Bible, both by command and by example, has identified the family as the proper organ of care and love for all its generations, supported, not solely by some Government Agency, but by the body of the Church. God’s provision “setteth the solitary in families” (Psalm 68:6 AV). Our modern, western, lifestyle gives us a little too many opportunities and excuses to distance ourselves more and more from the personal, costly, and emotionally demanding responsibilities to those whom God has placed us close to. For example do any of the following attitudes ring a bell? Crying baby – get a babysitter or shove into a daycare facility Obstreperous toddler – sit him in front of the TV (sometimes for hours) Creative, energetic and intelligent primary school child – buy him a computer. It certainly keeps him motionless and occupied. Elderly relative, a little too hungry for company and attention – well there’s always the “rest home” What happened to sacrificial love? What happened to “God first, others’ second, and yourself last?” What happened to the commitment to people first and career, wage packed, ambition, enjoyment, or personal satisfaction, a lesser priority? What happened to the responsibility to teach future generations the meaning of self-sacrifice instead of self-gratification? We cannot teach this any other way than by example. What behaviour do the young observe in us? This one thing is certain, whatever they see will be their template of how they treat us in the future. FOR FURTHER STUDY The extended family: 1 Timothy 5:1-8 Genesis 8:15-16 Genesis 10:5 Genesis 47:11-12 The important place of families: Zechariah 12:10-14 Ephesians 3:14 2 Timothy 1:5 Hilary McDowell, a deaconess for 22 years, now lives by faith exercising lay ministry across the denominations. An international speaker and Bible teacher, she is the author of five books and is based in Belfast © Christian Family Network is run by CPO, supported by Care for the Family, Marriage Resource, Positive Parenting, Care, Women Alive, Christian Herald and many others.