CHILDREARING Q&A

Q Should I have a baby after 35?
A No, 35 children is enough.

Q I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A If it's the flu, you'll get better.

Q What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A. For men to be the ones who get pregnant.

Q What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A Childbirth.

Q My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A So what's your question?

Q How long is the average woman in labour?
A Whatever she says divided by two.

Q My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labour, but pressure. Is she right?
A Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q When is the best time to get an epidural?
A Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labour?
A Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A Yes, pregnancy.

Q Does pregnancy cause headaches?
A Pregnancy causes anything you want to blame it for.

Q Do I have to have a baby shower?
A Not if you change the baby's nappy very quickly.

Q Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A When the kids are in college.

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