JOKES OF THE MONTH

The conductor Sir Thomas Beecham was attending a prestigious reception, and was in conversation with someone he recognised but whose name he could not recall. He began the conversation, desperate to find a clue to the person's identity.
"So, are you well?"
"Yes, thank you."
"And the family?"
"Yes, they are fine."
"And your husband, is he well?"
"Yes, very well, thank you."
"And is he still in the same line of business?"
"Yes, he's still king."

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Two nuns were driving through Transylvania when a vampire leapt out in front of their car. One nun cried to the other: "Sister, quick--show him your cross, show him your cross!"
So the other wound down the window and yelled out: "Get out of our way, you toothy git!"

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The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.

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