ALISON FARNELL

Handling ‘failure’

When did you last hear a sermon about death or dying? I can count on one hand the number that I have heard in my 50+ years. I suspect that we don’t have a theology of dying.

Yet I have experienced death several times, including the death of my own daughter. And I found myself having to work out what I really believed about death and dying, since no teaching in church had even begun to prepare me for it.

I think that it’s much the same with failure. We preach a Gospel of redemption and saving grace. We believe that we inevitably fail to meet up to what God requires, yet we are not very good at helping each other to deal with failure.

My 25-year-old daughter still recalls the humiliation she felt when, aged 10, she failed her cycling proficiency badge.

Both our eldest children ‘failed’ the 11 plus – or so they were told by everyone except us. At home, we didn’t talk about passing and failing. We talked about the way in which the 11-plus exam sorted out which was the most suitable school for them. And they were really pleased to be going to the mixed C of E secondary modern rather than the single sex grammar schools on offer locally.

I taught for eight years in a secondary modern school, and many of my pupils achieved well in maths GCSE. But the main thing that I taught them wasn’t maths. It was how to deal with their apparent ‘failure’, to know that even if they had ‘failed’ that exam, they were still unique and precious to God, they had gifts and abilities to use and develop, and yes, they could even do maths after all!

So as we go headlong into the testing season, let’s reflect a little on what these tests are for. SATs are essentially measures of attainment. You can’t pass or fail them, they simply measure the level at which the pupil is working.

A ‘D’ grade at GCSE is not a ‘fail’, it means that the pupil has achieved less than a ‘C’ and more than an ‘E’. Obviously, not obtaining certain grades may close some doors, but not getting the grade does not mean unequivocal failure.

Every one of us, whether very bright or less able, needs help with failure, to learn from it, to remember that we are still worth everything to God, and to go forward from there.

* Alison Farnell is Education Projects Manager at The Stapleford Centre
afarnell@stapleford-centre.org

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