Resources

RESOURCES

Online community for Christian mums

JOANNE APPLETON finds out the story and vision behind a supportive website maintained by a small team of Christian mums

You can find out virtually anything on the internet, and information about family life and children is no exception.

Type the word 'parenting' into any search engine, and you discover sites from the BBC, shared parenting, parenting twins, positive parenting, and parent coaching - and that's just five from around 743,000 in the UK alone!

The website www.christianmums.com was launched in June 2003 and now boasts a membership of around 140 people. Most are UK based, but some live as far afield as Jerusalem or Australia.

The site is the brainchild of Hilary Cockshaw who manages it with her sister Claire Cullingworth and friend Gillian Andrews. Hilary is in charge of administration and the paperwork as well as keeping an eye on the forum; Claire, a freelance writer, is the editor, while Gillian manages the technical side of running the site.

All three have young children, so they know first hand the joys and challenges of parenting.

I talked to Gillian, asking her what made the site different from the others.

"When Hilary first had children, she found other parenting websites useful, but realised that something was missing," she explains. "Although she enjoyed the support from other forums, she couldn't discuss the deeper issues of how parenting and faith fit together. This gave her the idea of setting up a site for parents where they could learn from each other, at the same time acknowledge their faith and if they want to, talk about aspects of church life as well as family life.

"The forum is a critical part of the site. Sometimes parents of young children can feel limited by a lack of time or lack of other like-minded people to talk to. As well as providing community, a forum is a way for people to express themselves - anonymously if they want to - and discuss issues and problems and not be judged.

"We don't pretend to have all the answers, and sometimes the most encouraging thing of all is to realise that you are not the only one who feels a particular way about a particular subject."

The site also includes book reviews and articles about 'real lives', covering topics such as infertility and bereavement.

Gillian says: "We wanted to highlight some of the problems or concerns people face and how faith is important with dealing with them. We hope the articles are an encouragement to people in the same position, and an education to those who are not.”

A list of resources at the end of each article allows people to explore the subject in further detail, and a topic is opened on the discussion forum so members can put their point of view across. According to Gillian, lively debates can occur!

One area of debate at the planning stage was over what to call the site. Isn't there the possibility that casual browsers might be put off by the name ChristianMums?

"We thought long and hard about this one," says Gillian. "In a way being called 'ChristianMums' limits us but we are totally open to all points of view and we certainly don't intend to shut the door. With so many parenting sites on the web we were restricted in our choice of name and while we are aware that it may put off people who are not Christians or not mums, the bottom line is we are providing a site for people of faith that covers parenting issues."

The latest feature is an on-line house group, which began at the end of January.

"As with the whole website, we have no intention or desire to replace what a local church can be," says Gillian, "but sometimes the church you are involved with won't have a home group, or it's impossible to get out in the evenings. Through an online home group we wanted to offer a structure for Bible study and be supportive in building up the place of God in people's lives.

"Some of the benefits of an 'in the flesh' home group are to do with personally knowing people, and having a sense of confidentiality. We wanted to recreate this if possible, so we decided to have the first study open to anyone. Thereafter only the people who contribute to the first study can continue unless someone specifically requests to join."

Claire posts suggested topics of discussion raised by the reading and the home group members enter the discussions that appeal to them most. Each discussion thread stays open for two weeks.

According to Gillian, one of the advantages of this system is that it allows you to take time to think about the question and then go back and contribute - differing from church home groups where you have a couple of hours to talk about a subject and it can be difficult to come back to it the following week.

The site's members are not limited to mums at home with small children. The forums include grandmothers and working parents, who, as Gillian explains: "bring a different perspective to the discussion”. In addition, the articles cover a broad range of topics which she hopes would be interesting to people in churches wanting to find out more.

"Eventually," she says, "we hope the website will be a resource for any Christian in any family."

Joanne Appleton is a freelance writer based in Yate, Gloucestershire

© Christian Family Network
is run by CPO, supported by
Care for the Family, Marriage Resource, Positive Parenting,
Care, Women Alive, Christian Herald and many others.


		RESOURCES Online community for Christian mums JOANNE APPLETON finds out the story and vision behind a supportive website maintained by a small team of Christian mums You can find out virtually anything on the internet, and information about family life and children is no exception. Type the word 'parenting' into any search engine, and you discover sites from the BBC, shared parenting, parenting twins, positive parenting, and parent coaching - and that's just five from around 743,000 in the UK alone! The website www.christianmums.com was launched in June 2003 and now boasts a membership of around 140 people. Most are UK based, but some live as far afield as Jerusalem or Australia. The site is the brainchild of Hilary Cockshaw who manages it with her sister Claire Cullingworth and friend Gillian Andrews. Hilary is in charge of administration and the paperwork as well as keeping an eye on the forum; Claire, a freelance writer, is the editor, while Gillian manages the technical side of running the site. All three have young children, so they know first hand the joys and challenges of parenting. I talked to Gillian, asking her what made the site different from the others. "When Hilary first had children, she found other parenting websites useful, but realised that something was missing," she explains. "Although she enjoyed the support from other forums, she couldn't discuss the deeper issues of how parenting and faith fit together. This gave her the idea of setting up a site for parents where they could learn from each other, at the same time acknowledge their faith and if they want to, talk about aspects of church life as well as family life. "The forum is a critical part of the site. Sometimes parents of young children can feel limited by a lack of time or lack of other like-minded people to talk to. As well as providing community, a forum is a way for people to express themselves - anonymously if they want to - and discuss issues and problems and not be judged. "We don't pretend to have all the answers, and sometimes the most encouraging thing of all is to realise that you are not the only one who feels a particular way about a particular subject." The site also includes book reviews and articles about 'real lives', covering topics such as infertility and bereavement. Gillian says: "We wanted to highlight some of the problems or concerns people face and how faith is important with dealing with them. We hope the articles are an encouragement to people in the same position, and an education to those who are not.” A list of resources at the end of each article allows people to explore the subject in further detail, and a topic is opened on the discussion forum so members can put their point of view across. According to Gillian, lively debates can occur! One area of debate at the planning stage was over what to call the site. Isn't there the possibility that casual browsers might be put off by the name ChristianMums? "We thought long and hard about this one," says Gillian. "In a way being called 'ChristianMums' limits us but we are totally open to all points of view and we certainly don't intend to shut the door. With so many parenting sites on the web we were restricted in our choice of name and while we are aware that it may put off people who are not Christians or not mums, the bottom line is we are providing a site for people of faith that covers parenting issues." The latest feature is an on-line house group, which began at the end of January. "As with the whole website, we have no intention or desire to replace what a local church can be," says Gillian, "but sometimes the church you are involved with won't have a home group, or it's impossible to get out in the evenings. Through an online home group we wanted to offer a structure for Bible study and be supportive in building up the place of God in people's lives. "Some of the benefits of an 'in the flesh' home group are to do with personally knowing people, and having a sense of confidentiality. We wanted to recreate this if possible, so we decided to have the first study open to anyone. Thereafter only the people who contribute to the first study can continue unless someone specifically requests to join." Claire posts suggested topics of discussion raised by the reading and the home group members enter the discussions that appeal to them most. Each discussion thread stays open for two weeks. According to Gillian, one of the advantages of this system is that it allows you to take time to think about the question and then go back and contribute - differing from church home groups where you have a couple of hours to talk about a subject and it can be difficult to come back to it the following week. The site's members are not limited to mums at home with small children. The forums include grandmothers and working parents, who, as Gillian explains: "bring a different perspective to the discussion”. In addition, the articles cover a broad range of topics which she hopes would be interesting to people in churches wanting to find out more. "Eventually," she says, "we hope the website will be a resource for any Christian in any family." Joanne Appleton is a freelance writer based in Yate, Gloucestershire © Christian Family Network is run by CPO, supported by Care for the Family, Marriage Resource, Positive Parenting, Care, Women Alive, Christian Herald and many others.