Resources

CHEER YOURSELF UP

One man ought to mow ...

When the power mower broke and wouldn't run, I kept hinting to my husband that he ought to get it fixed, but somehow the message never sank in.

Finally I thought of a clever way to make my point.

When my husband arrived home the next day, he found me seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. He watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. He was gone only a few moments when he came out again. He handed me a toothbrush.

When you finish cutting the grass," he said, "you might as well sweep the paths."

The doctors say he will probably live, but it will be quite a while before the casts come off.

DAFFYNITIONS, I

~ Advertising: The science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it
~ Allege: A rocky platform on a mountain
~ Arbitrator: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's
~ Arson: Our daughter's brother
~ Autobiography: A history of cars
~ Avoidable: What a bullfighter tries to do
~ Backward: Patient rooms at the rear of a hospital
~ Baloney: Where some hemlines fall
~ Bassinet: What every fisherman wants
~ Belong: To take your time
~ Bernadette: The act of torching a mortgage
~ Book: a utensil used to pass time while waiting for the computer repairman
~ Brain: The apparatus with which we think that we think
~ Budget: A method for going broke methodically
~ Bureaucracy: a method of turning energy into solid waste
~ Burglarize: What a crook sees with
~ Carpet: A dog that enjoys riding in an automobile
~ Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular
~ Coffee: Break fluid
~ Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage
~ Condescend: A prisoner escaping down the wall using a rope
~ Consciousness: that annoying time between naps
~ Control: A short, ugly inmate
~ Counterfeiters: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets
~ Deduce: De lowest card in de deck
~ Democracy: Four wolves and a lamb voting on lunch
~ Diplomacy: The art of letting other people have your own way
~ Document: Repeating what your doctor told you in your own words
~ Dogma: A mother dog
~ Earthquake: A topographical error
~ Eclipse: What a gardener does to your hedge
~ Eyedropper: A clumsy ophthalmologist
~ Fairy Tale: A horror story to prepare children for the newspapers
~ Falsehood: Someone who pretends to be a gangster
~ Feast: An eat wave
~ Fission: What Huck Finn did when he played hookey
~ Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries
~ Flattery: Phony express
~ Geometry: What the acorn said when it grew up
~ Grateful: What it takes to build a good fire
~ Ground beef: A cow with no legs
~ Handicap: A ready-to-use hat
~ Hanging: A suspended sentence
~ Hari-Kari: Transporting a wig
~ Heroes: What a guy in a boat does
~ Hunger: What the posse did to the lady rustler
~ Hypochondriac: A guy who won't let well enough alone
~ Hypothesis: What a boy says to his father on the telephone
~ Indecision: Under the whether

www.mikeysfunnies.com

© Christian Family Network
is run by CPO, supported by
Care for the Family, Marriage Resource, Positive Parenting,
Care, Women Alive, Christian Herald and many others.


		CHEER YOURSELF UP One man ought to mow ... When the power mower broke and wouldn't run, I kept hinting to my husband that he ought to get it fixed, but somehow the message never sank in. Finally I thought of a clever way to make my point. When my husband arrived home the next day, he found me seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. He watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. He was gone only a few moments when he came out again. He handed me a toothbrush. When you finish cutting the grass," he said, "you might as well sweep the paths." The doctors say he will probably live, but it will be quite a while before the casts come off. DAFFYNITIONS, I ~ Advertising: The science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it ~ Allege: A rocky platform on a mountain ~ Arbitrator: A cook that leaves Arby's to work at McDonald's ~ Arson: Our daughter's brother ~ Autobiography: A history of cars ~ Avoidable: What a bullfighter tries to do ~ Backward: Patient rooms at the rear of a hospital ~ Baloney: Where some hemlines fall ~ Bassinet: What every fisherman wants ~ Belong: To take your time ~ Bernadette: The act of torching a mortgage ~ Book: a utensil used to pass time while waiting for the computer repairman ~ Brain: The apparatus with which we think that we think ~ Budget: A method for going broke methodically ~ Bureaucracy: a method of turning energy into solid waste ~ Burglarize: What a crook sees with ~ Carpet: A dog that enjoys riding in an automobile ~ Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular ~ Coffee: Break fluid ~ Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage ~ Condescend: A prisoner escaping down the wall using a rope ~ Consciousness: that annoying time between naps ~ Control: A short, ugly inmate ~ Counterfeiters: Workers who put together kitchen cabinets ~ Deduce: De lowest card in de deck ~ Democracy: Four wolves and a lamb voting on lunch ~ Diplomacy: The art of letting other people have your own way ~ Document: Repeating what your doctor told you in your own words ~ Dogma: A mother dog ~ Earthquake: A topographical error ~ Eclipse: What a gardener does to your hedge ~ Eyedropper: A clumsy ophthalmologist ~ Fairy Tale: A horror story to prepare children for the newspapers ~ Falsehood: Someone who pretends to be a gangster ~ Feast: An eat wave ~ Fission: What Huck Finn did when he played hookey ~ Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries ~ Flattery: Phony express ~ Geometry: What the acorn said when it grew up ~ Grateful: What it takes to build a good fire ~ Ground beef: A cow with no legs ~ Handicap: A ready-to-use hat ~ Hanging: A suspended sentence ~ Hari-Kari: Transporting a wig ~ Heroes: What a guy in a boat does ~ Hunger: What the posse did to the lady rustler ~ Hypochondriac: A guy who won't let well enough alone ~ Hypothesis: What a boy says to his father on the telephone ~ Indecision: Under the whether www.mikeysfunnies.com © Christian Family Network is run by CPO, supported by Care for the Family, Marriage Resource, Positive Parenting, Care, Women Alive, Christian Herald and many others.