TALK BACK

Real answering machine messages ... allegedly

Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.

Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.

I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember. I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Thanks.

(deep voice, scary music in the background): You're dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world without time, where sound collides with colour and shadows explode. You see a signpost up ahead – this is no ordinary telephone answering device ... You have reached "The Twilight Phone".

Laugh Digest 109

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