PARENTS TELL OF ANGUISH OVER CHILDREN'S STRESS LEVELS

New research launched this week from national charity, Parentline Plus reveals that parents are increasingly worried about their children's levels of stress and anxiety, which account for 39% of calls to its confidential freephone helpline.

The launch of this research kicks off the charity's second Talking Families awareness week 1-7 July, supported by BT.

These findings reinforce other research which highlights that rates of anxiety and depression in children are on the increase with an estimated one in five children experiencing some form of mental health problem.

Callers to Parentline Plus' helpline are looking for guidance on how to talk to their children about their emotional distress and/or depression and on how to get more individual support from professional agencies. In response to this Parentline Plus is promoting its confidential, free, 24-hour helpline 0808 800 22 22, and practical tips and hints which can be seen at http://www.parentlineplus.org.uk

Key findings from the study of Parentline Plus' call data found that:

• 39% were concerned about their children's emotional and mental health
  
• Over 66% of parents call Parentline Plus' helpline about their child's challenging behaviour which can often be a sign of distress or anxiety
  
• The majority of calls in the research (23%) concerned teenage girls followed closely by boys aged 9-12 (18%)
  
• Causes of children's emotional and mental health problems identified by parents included bullying (33%), parents' separation (28%), drug use (11%), rejection by a parent (8%)
  
• Unhappiness in children influenced school attendance and attainment with 14% of children being in conflict with schools/teachers, 10% being reluctant to attend and 6% having problems with their school work

The research shows that the majority of callers to the helpline are encountering challenging behaviour from their child, which can often be a symptom of a larger problem, and that they are finding it hard to deal with the problems whilst avoiding conflict, as one anonymous caller expressed to the helpline:

"I'm finding it hard to deal with and talk to my 15 year old daughter but hate to see her screwing up her life. I should be doing more to help but don't seem to do anything or get anywhere."

As the Parentline Plus figures demonstrate, depression and anxiety in children can be triggered by a whole range of factors, from bullying to parents separating to drug use. These are things that can affect all children no matter what their age, gender or family background, and as such their distress can manifest itself in a number of different ways. Our research looks at how parents can spot some of the tell-tale signs, and suggests ways of dealing with them.

"Parents need to feel heard and supported in order to do the same for their children" says Dorit Braun, Chief Executive of Parentline Plus. "They need encouragement to seek help, to appreciate that every family has difficulties from time to time and that there is no stigma attached to asking for support or information. Parents are the key to the long-term well-being of their child ñ and without helping the parent you cannot fully help the child."

A child who is unhappy or anxious needs to be listened to and understood. The key source of comfort is their parent or carer, yet often parents themselves are isolated and feel powerless to reach out to their children. Parentline Plus have produced a list of tips and hints to coincide with this year's Talking Families Week in order to help parents to help their children through the difficult times.

Below are a few examples of Parentline Plus' tips and hints produced in response to parents requests:

PARENTLINE PLUS TIPS FOR PARENTS

Helping your children make the most of life

Even little children get the blues. If your young child doesn't seem happy or is acting differently - try and find out what is upsetting them. If nothing seems to work, check at your child health clinic or contact your GP

School-aged children can be really demanding and irritable. Even if they are driving you mad, be patient and say you think they are worried or unhappy. Under all this stroppiness, there may lie lots of hidden anxieties and unhappiness

Help your kids to get the best out of their school. If they seem low and don't want to go to school, try and find out why and contact the school with your worries

Set some ground rules with your teenagers but be prepared to give and take on what they can and can't do. You'll be showing them that you are on their side

Don't demand or expect constant love and affection from your children, especially if you are feeling low and your children know it. You could be putting too much of a burden on them and building up layers of guilt and resentment

Conflict between couples, divorce and separation can cause a lot of anxiety amongst children of any age. Talk them through what is happening and listen to how they feel. That way you'll keep their trust and help them deal with change

If your family is going through change allow yourself and others in the family to have mixed feelings. Different members of your family may feel differently about the same event. Try to let everyone express how they feel, and remember that feelings can change over time.

Some children like to have other trusted adults they can talk to: a grandparent, aunt or uncle, a teacher, youth worker or family friend. Don't feel threatened if they reach out to someone else

Helping yourself

Remembering the fears and anxieties you felt as a child can help you see what your child might be going through and what reassurance they may need

Is there something small you can do to make time for yourself? Make a deal with the kids - a trip to the park in exchange for five minutes peace and quiet. A cup of tea on your own, a hot bath, a chat with your friend

You may be feeling isolated, guilty and helpless when trying to comfort your child. You need someone to talk to, too - share your feelings with friends, families, partners and other parents - or contact Parentline Plus on 0808 800 2222 or visit our website at www.parentlineplus.org.uk

Trust your own judgement. If you think your child is in need of professional help and you are at all uncomfortable with what is being offered or who is doing the offering, go on looking

When trying to get professional help seems an impossible uphill struggle, talking to friends and other members of the family could help you see other ways to ask for help and how you can get heard

 

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