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ANALYSIS

Vowing to back marriage

Britain’s first ever Community Marriage Policy has been signed by civil and religious leaders in Bath. KAREN CARTER reports on how churches are being challenged to get behind the initiative nationwide.

Chris Grimshaw is a man with a vision. As chairman of the Christian-based National Association of Community Family Trusts, he is a passionate advocate for the pro-marriage policy move.

"Swindon, Newport and Telford are the next to sign up to the Community Marriage Policy," he said, "with Community Family Trusts just about to be launched in Cornwall and Southampton."

Money is always a concern but Chris is again upbeat. "Most of this work can carry on with very little funding. A lot of it happened in the first place because the churches got to grips with it, and now they have the chance to make a real difference on a bigger scale."

Chris, who heads up Time for Families, said some churches had latched onto the evangelistic opportunities offered by such initiatives.

"Nicky Lee, who runs The Marriage Course at Holy Trinity Brompton with his wife Sila, said: 'We've found on our marriage preparation courses that 90% of those attending don’t go to church, yet they receive mentoring from Christian couples. It is a very powerful outreach opportunity.'"

The signing of the Community Marriage Policy in Swindon can very much be seen as a turning point, Chris believes. "This is a hugely significant move forward by the clergy and Registrar of a registration district. There are 340 of them in the country. Would it not be fantastic if every one of them signed up to this? What is most interesting is that if the Superintendent Registrar acts as the co-ordinator, then the majority of the clergy support it. It’s really unusual to get so many clergy agreeing!"

THE WORDING

Community Marriage Policy for the Registration District of Swindon

As Clergy and Superintendent Registrar in the Registration District of Swindon we wish to express our deep concern at the rising tide of family breakdown in our community.

We are concerned at the almost total absence of any serious public policy on supporting intact families or reducing family breakdown. We see little public acknowledgement of the vast scale of the problem or of its destructive consequences for individual families and society as a whole. We see little or no evidence of any serious plan to stem the tide – let alone turn it back.

We therefore wish to acknowledge publicly that family breakdown has huge social and economic consequences for our community. We wish to acknowledge publicly our intention to play an active part in turning back the tide. This policy in no way relieves us of our desire and responsibility also to help, support and accept those who live in other situations.

This "Community Marriage Policy” expresses our intent to support marriages and couples in our community as best we can in the following ways.

Firstly, we acknowledge publicly that marriage is proving to be the most effective family model within which to raise children.

Research overwhelmingly supports this view. On the one hand, divorced or separated couples and their children are exposed to greatly increased risks of ill-health, poverty and domestic violence. On the other, married couples and their children are far more likely to be stable, happy, healthy, economically productive and free from violence or abuse. Research is also clear that these benefits of marriage do not accrue in the same way to cohabiting couples, in spite of the growing acceptability of cohabitation as a valid alternative or prelude to marriage.

Secondly, we will support the stability of adult couples by providing marriage and relationship education programmes that teach and reinforce the basic skills of married life.

These skills include communication, conflict resolution and commitment. We will make such educational courses widely available to any couple in our community, regardless of religious belief or marital status. We will offer courses to couples preparing for marriage, couples already married and couples who cohabit. Marriage education is not the same as marriage counselling for those with problems who may seek help. Marriage and relationship education is a healthy and normal ongoing activity for all couples at all stages of life.

Thirdly, we will encourage the development of "couple mentoring” by appropriately trained mentors.

Simple training in the use of a research based "inventory” now makes mentoring easily accessible to any couple. Couple mentoring has proven highly effective in building good marriages and in providing a forum to discuss and resolve potential relationship problems safely. It has also proven effective in rebuilding troubled marriages and supporting stepfamilies.

Fourthly, we will co-operate together as Clergy and Superintendent Registrar to share and develop our resources for the benefit of the whole community – in promoting the value of marriage, in offering marriage and relationship education, and in training and using mentors.

To find out more about Community Marriage Policies, contact Chris Grimshaw at National Association of Community Family Trusts, Sharpham Barton, Totnes, South Devon, TQ9 7DX (01803 732278). Website: www.timeforfamilies.org.uk

Karen Carter is News Editor of Christian Herald

© Christian Family Network
is run by CPO, supported by
Care for the Family, Marriage Resource, Positive Parenting,
Care, Women Alive, Christian Herald and many others.


		ANALYSIS Vowing to back marriage Britain’s first ever Community Marriage Policy has been signed by civil and religious leaders in Bath. KAREN CARTER reports on how churches are being challenged to get behind the initiative nationwide. Chris Grimshaw is a man with a vision. As chairman of the Christian-based National Association of Community Family Trusts, he is a passionate advocate for the pro-marriage policy move. "Swindon, Newport and Telford are the next to sign up to the Community Marriage Policy," he said, "with Community Family Trusts just about to be launched in Cornwall and Southampton." Money is always a concern but Chris is again upbeat. "Most of this work can carry on with very little funding. A lot of it happened in the first place because the churches got to grips with it, and now they have the chance to make a real difference on a bigger scale." Chris, who heads up Time for Families, said some churches had latched onto the evangelistic opportunities offered by such initiatives. "Nicky Lee, who runs The Marriage Course at Holy Trinity Brompton with his wife Sila, said: 'We've found on our marriage preparation courses that 90% of those attending don’t go to church, yet they receive mentoring from Christian couples. It is a very powerful outreach opportunity.'" The signing of the Community Marriage Policy in Swindon can very much be seen as a turning point, Chris believes. "This is a hugely significant move forward by the clergy and Registrar of a registration district. There are 340 of them in the country. Would it not be fantastic if every one of them signed up to this? What is most interesting is that if the Superintendent Registrar acts as the co-ordinator, then the majority of the clergy support it. It’s really unusual to get so many clergy agreeing!" THE WORDING Community Marriage Policy for the Registration District of Swindon As Clergy and Superintendent Registrar in the Registration District of Swindon we wish to express our deep concern at the rising tide of family breakdown in our community. We are concerned at the almost total absence of any serious public policy on supporting intact families or reducing family breakdown. We see little public acknowledgement of the vast scale of the problem or of its destructive consequences for individual families and society as a whole. We see little or no evidence of any serious plan to stem the tide – let alone turn it back. We therefore wish to acknowledge publicly that family breakdown has huge social and economic consequences for our community. We wish to acknowledge publicly our intention to play an active part in turning back the tide. This policy in no way relieves us of our desire and responsibility also to help, support and accept those who live in other situations. This "Community Marriage Policy” expresses our intent to support marriages and couples in our community as best we can in the following ways. Firstly, we acknowledge publicly that marriage is proving to be the most effective family model within which to raise children. Research overwhelmingly supports this view. On the one hand, divorced or separated couples and their children are exposed to greatly increased risks of ill-health, poverty and domestic violence. On the other, married couples and their children are far more likely to be stable, happy, healthy, economically productive and free from violence or abuse. Research is also clear that these benefits of marriage do not accrue in the same way to cohabiting couples, in spite of the growing acceptability of cohabitation as a valid alternative or prelude to marriage. Secondly, we will support the stability of adult couples by providing marriage and relationship education programmes that teach and reinforce the basic skills of married life. These skills include communication, conflict resolution and commitment. We will make such educational courses widely available to any couple in our community, regardless of religious belief or marital status. We will offer courses to couples preparing for marriage, couples already married and couples who cohabit. Marriage education is not the same as marriage counselling for those with problems who may seek help. Marriage and relationship education is a healthy and normal ongoing activity for all couples at all stages of life. Thirdly, we will encourage the development of "couple mentoring” by appropriately trained mentors. Simple training in the use of a research based "inventory” now makes mentoring easily accessible to any couple. Couple mentoring has proven highly effective in building good marriages and in providing a forum to discuss and resolve potential relationship problems safely. It has also proven effective in rebuilding troubled marriages and supporting stepfamilies. Fourthly, we will co-operate together as Clergy and Superintendent Registrar to share and develop our resources for the benefit of the whole community – in promoting the value of marriage, in offering marriage and relationship education, and in training and using mentors. To find out more about Community Marriage Policies, contact Chris Grimshaw at National Association of Community Family Trusts, Sharpham Barton, Totnes, South Devon, TQ9 7DX (01803 732278). Website: www.timeforfamilies.org.uk Karen Carter is News Editor of Christian Herald © Christian Family Network is run by CPO, supported by Care for the Family, Marriage Resource, Positive Parenting, Care, Women Alive, Christian Herald and many others.